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Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Ielts writing TASK 2



Lola12 10 / 8  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. - That is the topic

Any kind of help and advice in order to improve my writing, will be highly appreciate.

Nowadays, we live in a technological era, which provides numerous opportunities for the companies to promote their products. The advetising is all arounds us and while many people believe it is a good thing, many other argue that the advertising has rather negative effect on out society.In one way, the advertising educates us and ease our decision making process, but on the other hand it can be annoying and confusing.

We all know the feeling, when we are at the supermarket, unable to choose from the deviersity of available products. In these situations, the advertising helps us by providing additional information about the products in order to make our decisions easier. Moreover, they educate us to understand the consequesnces which will follow the purchase of particular good. Even though the advertisments are helpful, they can often create confusion into the customers.

Everybody has experienced the situation, when you are watching your favourite movie and it is interupted by an annoying add. In addition to this, the advertisments can often not corresopond to the reality and sometimes even abuse some of the viewers. Also, very often the advertisments invide our privacy, because they are simply everywhere - on the internet, on the streets and sometimes even in our workpalces.

In my opinion, the advertising is an important part of our lives. They are vital, because without them we will be unable to choose, which is the most suitable products or service for our needs.But, at the same time - the goverments need to set strict rules in order to cease the practise of interupting our privacies by the marketing companies .

Cachaaaaaaaa 28 / 34  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
Hi Lola
here some suggestions for your writing

technological era, which provides numerous (No need comma)

many other people argue that the advertising

effect on outour society

from the deviersitydiversity of available

It is much better in your body, firstly you provide your topic sentence then example after your supporting details. (it shows in Body 1, you mention your example first, so does your body 2)

Everybody has experienced the situation, when ... (you is not suitable subject here since you refer to everybody)

You did not write down your conclusion, it is only your own opinion not conclusion.
mem77 62 / 93  
Oct 30, 2016   #3
Dear Lola, here some advices from me and feel free to correct me too!

... numerous opportunities fortheto companies to promote their products.

The advetisingAdvertisement is all arounds us and while many people believe it advertisement is a good thing, many others argue that the advertising it has rather negative effect on out societysocieties.

....the advertisingadvertisement educates us and ease our decision making processpeople to make a good decision, but on the other hand it can be ...

We all know the feeling, when wepeople are buying at the supermarket, ...

Regards
asmaraj96 9 / 11  
Oct 30, 2016   #4
Hi @Lola12,

Here some corrections on your essay:

The advetisingadvertising is all aroundsaround us and while . While many people believe it is a good waything , many otherthe others argue that the ...

... unable to choose from the deviersitydiversity of available products.
... to understand the consequesncesconsequences which will follow ...
Even though the advertismentsadvertisements are helpful, they can ...

... movie and it is interuptedinterrupted by an annoying add. In addition to this, the advertismentsadvertisements can often not corresopondcorrespond to the reality and ...

Also, very often the advertismentsadvertisementsinvideinvite our privacy, because (...) even in our workpalcesworkplaces .

In my opinion, In conclusion, the advertising is ...
But, at the same time - the goverments needgovernments should to set strict rules in order to cease the practise of interupting our privaciesthe practice of interrupting consumer's privacy by the marketing companies.


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