Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Agree/Disagree - Cycling


dinosaur_thn 1 / 1  
Feb 15, 2022   #1

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.



The bicycle has become increasingly common in many countries, a great alternative to reducing carbon dioxide footprint. It is argued by many people that there should be a test that bike riders need to pass before being available to travel on the streets. Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits.

First of all, riding a bike is a simple skill that anyone can acquire after a few hours of practicing. Therefore, the idea of having a mandatory test for this vehicle's users is unnecessary. For example, a 6-year-old boy can ride a bike well after being trained by his father. Furthermore, the government will have to provide a large amount of money to execute this law, which is paid for the testing centers, extra police officers checking the riders' licenses. More importantly, it is reported that bike is one of the transportations that caused fewest accidents in the past few years, making money allocated for this proposal incredibly wasteful.

On the other hand, due to the negative impacts of air pollution, people worldwide are highly encouraged to use bikes. Hence, this restriction will deter them from using this environmentally-friendly transportation. Suppose the test requires a heft fee or complicated procedure. In that case, people are likely to delay obeying the law, making it longer to be completely effective.

Overall, the idea that requires bicycle users to pass a test is a fallacy because it will not only waste resources but also create more deterrents to using the bike instead of other less green vehicles. Instead, the government should put more effort into stimulating this vehicle's usage and ensuring the traffic system is safe for bikers.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4800  
Feb 16, 2022   #2
Personally, I believe that this idea creates more drawbacks rather than benefits.

There are several problems with this prompt restatement + opinion presentation. The first, is that the original topic is simply a one liner sentence that does not contain any of the opening remarks that the exam taker presented here. The personal opinion presented in the opening statement created an inaccuracy in the topic restatement and will be scored down. The second error, is that there is an inaccurate opinion presentation as the exam taker:

- Incorrectly used and agree or disagree statement in the title (It is an extent response instead)
- Incorrectly gave his opinion in an incorrect format (drawbacks v. benefits instead of extent of agreement or disagreement)

As such, the essay has already recieved a failing preliminary TA score due to the inaccuracies presented. These opening statement errors are enough to fail the test overall due to the incorrect presentation format and lack of a valid opinion based on the discussion question provided. There is no need to review the rest of the essay at this point since the discussion is irrelevant to the given scenario.
OP dinosaur_thn 1 / 1  
Feb 18, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for the constructive feedbacks!!
imduonggg 2 / 3  
Mar 7, 2022   #4
The bicycle has become increasingly common in many countries, which is a great alternative to reducing reducecarbon dioxide footprint.

More importantly, since it is reported that bike ...

Supposing the test requires ...

Overall, the idea that require to require/requiring bicycle users ...


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Agree/Disagree - Cycling
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳