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Toefl - Do you agree or disagree? "The most important thing about a job is how much money


sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 13, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree? "The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job."

Almost everybody want to have good salaried job and they should, finance is a prime factor for which we work. Handsome digit salary is required to pay our bill and secure our future. But monetary gain has not outweighed other emotional and personal benefits which are required along with it. Further in my essay I will be appending my elucidation on importance of other factors with receiving salary for an employee.

There are various job profile that provide high salary but not necessarily promise growth to the worker. In order to increase their bank balance, they sabotage their future prospect. Many companies has promotional graph designed with its criteria that helps you to gain promotion as well as increment but not necessarily offer you job responsibilities or profile that you would enjoy performing. To quote an instance - one of my husband's engineer friend changed his job that gave him good position and package but unfortunately he find himself learning nothing in new job and concurred that good salary can be earned but not at the cost of limited career growth.

Secondly, it is equally imperative to be satisfied with your job as it is to earn attractive income. Job - satisfaction involve many factors such as work - environment, work - place, team support and other similar perks. By paying healthy amount to worker many companies demand their so much time that they do not get time to have their meals. Similarly you do not get better support team to take over your task and meet the target but you ought to accomplish it as you take good portion of companies' money. My brother did not got leave to offer his prayer in my grandmother's death ceremony despite pleading and promising to meet the goal in time.

Money can get us food and fashion but it is definitely not capable to buy us success and happiness. Money is essential but not everything in life. Our motive to earn money is to make our life luxurious but not restricted.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 13, 2014   #2
Almost everybody want to have good salaried job and they should, finance is a prime factor for which we work.

... the second part of your sentence is quite complicated :(

Handsome digit salary is required to pay our bills and secure our future. But monetary gain has not outweighed other emotional and personal benefits factors which are also required along with it.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Mar 13, 2014   #3
Handsome digit salary is required to pay our bills and secure our future. But monetary gain has not outweighed other emotional and personal benefits factors which are also required along with it.

.... you have many redundant words in this sentence. Avoid that tendency in writing because they disturb the reader's interest.

Further in my essay I will be appending my elucidation on importance of other factors with receiving salary for an employee.

...It is better you expressed your view in a clear statement when concluding your introduction.
OP sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 13, 2014   #4
Thanks Pahan and Dumi,

Please help to secure atleast 24 in my writing section my exam is due on 29 of this month.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 18, 2014   #5
Please help to secure atleast 24 in my writing section my exam is due on 29 of this month.

Ok, let's do the intro with Pahan's structure;

Do you agree or disagree? "The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job."

Money is one of the most important aspect in our life. (hook) Therefore, some people argue that money should be the most important consideration in a job. (Background) However, in my view, although money is also an important factor, it is not the only important thing about one's job. (Thesis )


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