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[TOEFL] Agree/Disagree? - Secure job with low pay or job with high pay but easy to lose



Allen Hu 8 / 24  
Dec 5, 2013   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? it is better to take a secure job with a low pay than to take a job with a high pay but easy to lose?

Thanks a looooooot for your advice~~they can be extremely helpful for me!!!

Nowadays, people are trying their best to chase the pace of the time, to find jobs with high salary. They do that just for compensating soaring living expense or earing a decent lifestyle. However, from my perspective, a low-paid but secure job is better for us because doing this kind of job can spare more time for our families and it also assures a more prospective career.

First of all, a low-paid but secure job contributes to a grateful family relationship considerably. Obviously, lower payment means less working time, which in turn means that employees could have more time to spend with their families and therefore bond them with their families more tightly. On the contrary, working overtime has an extremely negative impact on family relationships. Take my uncle Zhang as an instance, he is a chief executive of an insurance company and is guaranteed with high payment. Meanwhile, working overtime is a regular thing for him. In view of the fierce competition in my uncle's company, his wife even has to worry about him being dismissed everyday. As for my uncle, he always works very hard in order to earn a decent life at the expense of ignoring his own family and curtailing the time with his family. Worser, last year he even did not accompany his family for just one vacation such as a summer camp. As a result, his wife divorced with him. He ends up being unsatisfactory with his own conditions and has no one to share with his sense of fulfillment from work.

Secondly, a low-paid but constant job benefits one's prospective career greatly. It is true that more time in one company, more opportunities one would have to earn a promotion. My older sister, Li, starting from a low position, has been working for a small manufacture company for over 5 years. During this period, she successfully gets a promotion to be a project manager in this company and absorbs lots of professional knowledge constantly about her field, which could probably make her being promoted even further! Granted, she may not earn as much money as a manager does in a big company. However, at least she could earn her salary constantly and does not have to worry about getting fired when she wakes up at every morning.

Admittedly, a high-paid job can prepare one's future life more efficiently and an employee with this kind of job has easier access to big houses and famous cars. Furthermore, young man, full of vigor, possesses excessive energy to spend on their jobs. Nevertheless, everyone must grow old. When people are 40 or 45 years old, they will have exhausted their excessive energy. Hence, they can not catch up with the recent trend and update their obsolete knowledge system.In this case, they would worry about losing their jobs everyday and someone even suffers from some mental illness such as depression. Furthermore, the huge pressure of high-paid jobs perhaps hurt employee's health badly and more severely, shorten their lifespan. It is sad that people have money but do not have time to spent it.

In conclusion. A high-paid but unscure job is not suitable for everyone especially the old ones. In contrast, a low-paid but secure job is able to meet most people's needs since it can link people with their families more tightly and assure a more promising career.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 5, 2013   #2
Nowadays, people are trying their best to chase the pace of the time, to find jobs with high salary. They do that just for compensating soaring living expense or earing a decent lifestyle. However, from my perspective, a low-paid but secure job is better for us because doing this kind of job can spare more time for our families and it also assures a more prospective career.

Here you do not explain the background of the issue properly. You have to educate the reader about the two sides of the argument and then state your opinon.

First of all, a low-paid but secure job contributes to a gratefulgreat family relationshipsconsiderably

Grateful means feeling or showing an appreciation for something done or received. Here it is not the appropriate word, but the word "great". Do not crowd your sentences with too many words that do not add any meaning to your idea.
OP Allen Hu 8 / 24  
Dec 6, 2013   #3
Oh~thanks! appreciate your advice~
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 7, 2013   #4
Obviously, lower payment means less working time, which in turn means that employees could have more time to spend with their families and therefore bond them with their families more tightly.

... well, it is not necessarily that lower payment relates to less working time. You need to be careful when you try to generalize ideas.

Take my uncle Zhang as an instance

Take my uncle Zhang for example.
It seems you follow an appropriate structure for this task. Pay more attention to sentence construction and vocabulary. Overall, you have written a good essay.


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