IELTS;Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world

TOPIC: Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft is one of the greatest inventions of mankind. I disagree with the given statement that air travel can be beneficial to only affluent classes and common man is not able to have any pros with it. I state my view through following explanations.

Firstly, air couriers are the fastest ways of transferring information in the form of couriers, letters, gifts and goods between nations. For example, people are able to do online shopping from anywhere and irrespective of the location of sales location due to the facility of air travel courier.

Secondly, air travel has been becoming one of the medical emergency transportations since decades. Higher authorities are using air travel in any major accidents where emergency team can't have any access to rescue public.For example, air travel played a crucial role in saving lakhs of people in the major devastating floods occured recently India.

Thirdly, it is one of the defence divisions. This gives assurance to the public by giving safety in the form of protecting their region's airspace and controlling aircrafts as well.

Now-a-days, all kids of people are getting an opportunity to use these services as some airline services are charging low prices.

To summarize, I can say that rich people may use it as for their travel but it is useful in several ways to the common man.So , both are taking the advantage of it regardless of their economic status.

Please guys, help me in rectifying my errors. i a giving my ielts exam on 7th Sep.

Simply reword the topic. In fact, thesis is what the essay is mainly revolving around.
introduction contains three parts: 1) Motivator: An attractive statement, giving some general information about the topic. 2) Thesis: Reword the topic, 3) Give your opinion

Hope this helps
Cheers,
Ahmad

Very good hook.


....before stating your opnion, introduce the background if the argument. This is how it should go;
Hook - Background - Your position


Thisvis not adding much value to your essay coz the reader anyway expects you to do it. Finish your intro with stating your position.

In my opinion, talking about air cargo, couriers or shipment by air, are way too off from your topic. Keywords found in your prompt are air travel, rich people, ordinary people and development. Your should write about these words instead.

hope this helps...