IELTS task 2: Internet vs newspapers
Topic: Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, the number of people surfing the Internet to update news is becoming larger.While many argue that newspapers will not lose its status as the most significant source of news, I believe that the Internet will be as popolar as newspapers.
On the one hand, I believe that newspapers persist in being a vital source of news. Firstly, there may still be individuals loyal to this traditional way to update news, particularly elderly people who have less chance to access the Internet and can spare time to devour a newspaper for seeking news. Secondly, newspapers will be able to remain a trustworthy source of news because it is written and edited by a professional unit of journalists.
On the other hand, it is more likely that the Internet will be equated with newspaper for two major reasons. One important reason is that the Internet is a convenient and fast source of news. In fact, anywhere one go, only with a smartphone connected with the Internet, he or she can update news in the country or around the world easily just by surfing and tapping. Another reason is sharing news capacity of the Internet. With Internet applications such as Facebook and Youtube, every individual can not only read a certain piece of news but they can also share it to friends and others so that those people are aware of, make comments and express their own attitudes towards the news. As a result, there may be much more interaction among readers rather than reading newspapers alone.
In conclusion, I do not agree with the opinion that newspapers will remain the most important source of news, but I believe that the Internet will play an equal role to newspapers.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15344 Tran, you are being asked a question, "Do you agree or disagree?" You are not being asked "Do you think newspapers will survive the internet?" Why did you change the topic for the discussion? Did you not understand the question? The prompt instruction is answerable by agree/disagree and should only be discussed from a single point of view. This is not a dual POV essay that allows you to have "maybe" for a response.
Not convinced that you made a mistake yet? Let's go into details then:
Original Instruction: Do you agree or disagree?
Response: I believe that the Internet will be as popolar as newspapers.
BTW, the term is "popular" not "popolar". Be very conscious of the terms you use and how you spell it. Several spelling errors will mean greater LR deductions due to a lack of proper English vocabulary use and understanding. You already bungled this essay with the incorrect TA action, try to limit your mistakes to at least lessen your overall deductions and leave you at least closer to a passing mark.
Your concluding statement, where you placed your response to the prompt is incorrect. That is an integral response that is required as part of the thesis statement in the opening paragraph. Simply put, you were asked a question at the start of the essay and therefore, you should also respond to the question at the start of the essay. The body paragraphs should only be used to provide your reasons and supporting statements for your response. You cannot discuss your disagreement as a dual sided discussion. If you say you disagree, then that is the only point of view you should discuss within the 3 body paragraphs that allow you to reason out based on your POV for the essay. This is not an extent essay that allows you to "partially" support both sides. The concluding paragraph should merely sum up the discussions you presented in the body of paragraphs with a repeat of your direct opinion as an agree/disagree sentence to remind the reader about what the discussion is all about.
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