Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The amount of time spent by telephone in the UK, in three categories, over the seven-year period



oneouran 6 / 9  
Jun 24, 2019   #1

UK telephone calls by three categories



Topic:The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billion) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart compares the amount of time spent by people in the UK in three categories over the seven-year period starting in 1995 and finishing in 2002.

Overall, it can be seen that there was an upward trend in fixed line (national and international) and mobiles from 1995 to 2002. Besides, although the number of minutes of local call was the highest in the period shown, it experienced a downward trend in the last four years.

In the year 1995, the category of fixed line (national and international) and mobiles calls had increased gradually. To be more specific, there were about 35 billion minutes of national and international calls in the first year, and the number kept rising to just over 60 billion minutes in 2002. In terms of mobiles calls, only less than 5 billion minutes in 1995, however, the number increased rapidly and reached its peak in the year 2002, at just over 45 billion minutes.

With regard to local fixed line, the figure for it had increased steadily, from around 70 billion minutes in 1995 to 90 billion minutes (which was the highest point) in 1999, a rise of 20 billion minutes. After that, the figures for local fixed line fell, only approximately 72 billion minutes in the last year of the period.


  • Capture.PNG


Maria - / 1096  
Jun 25, 2019   #2
@oneouran
Hello there.

Firstly, try merging similar thought processes altogether. This will help you create a more dynamic structure that will enable you to trim down the unnecessary content of your sentences. Furthermore, if you are able to omit certain words that do not add value to your sentences, opt to do this as it will help you curate a concise structure that is not reliant on filters.

I have also observed that there were instances wherein the writing you had shown had off-putting grammar. Try to minimize this through ensuring that you are able to relay the information in the text using the conventional grammatical rules. Having that straightforward writing approach will help you focus more on these types of details compared to others.

Additionally, try also utilize terminologies that will help you save space. Focusing on the usage of terms that are more compact in terms of meaning and structure will help you in the long-run.

Observe the following revision:

In the year 1995, ... mobiles calls had increased gradually. To be more s Specifically, there were ... in the first year, and ; the number kept rising to just over 60 ... In terms of m Mobiles calls, had only less ...in 1995, ; however, ... its peak in the year 2002, at just over ...

Eliminating these unnecessary lines will help you condense the details more in your writing.

Best of luck as always!
OP oneouran 6 / 9  
Jun 25, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you very much!!


Home / Writing Feedback / The amount of time spent by telephone in the UK, in three categories, over the seven-year period
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳