topic: Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live?
places to live for students
Student at university often choose to live in apartment in the community or live in university dormitories. I think both of these options have advantages, but I prefer to live in dormitory.
on the one hand, living in apartment in the community also have a few benefits. you can have more privacy, you can do what you want in you apartment for example: cooking, arranging furniture or you can come home late without fear of disturbing others.
on the other hand, unlike living in apartment, if you choose dormitory you have to share the room with others, your private space will be very small. Not only living in the collective but also you have to follow the rules of the dormitory for example: you must come dormitory before 11pm, do not cook, the security.
however, I think there are many benefits when you choose to live in dormitory: first in the dormitory with high security, second live in dormitory is much cheaper in the apartment so you can save money, third that is the way of life and harmony in a collective. You can improve a lot of skills such as communication skills, teamwork skills, adaptive skills.
overall, living in apartment in the community and dormitory in university has both advantages and disadvantages. if you like independence, freedom, you should choose in the apartment, and if you are a happy person, social and want to experience life in a collective, living in dormitory is the best choice for you. Living in the dormitory, I learn a lot that is why I prefer to stay in the dormitory.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4783 @trongtuan441996 You have a problem when it comes to applying the rule of word capitalization in your essay. You are inconsistent when it comes to the use of capital letters. Please remember the most basic rule, The first word of every new sentence is capitalized in order to signify a new statement being made. The violation of this rule shows that you did not really pay attention to how you were writing and developing your statements. If you were practicing on a tablet or android phone, don't do that. Use a laptop or PC to practice so that you can apply the correct grammar rules to your essay.
Your discussion presentation is also ill effective as it does not accurately develop a sense of information presentation in a manner that carries an acceptable comparison argument or opinion regarding the statements you are making. Therefore the essay becomes a clutter of not very well connected thoughts instead of a representation of a connected thought process.
Overall, you did good work in the presentation of ideas but it may not be enough to garner you a passing score in the actual TOEFL test. It would benefit you to remember the mistakes that you made in this essay as I pointed them out and then improve upon those in your next practice tests. I hope to see improvement the that indicates you are trying your best to correct these errors.
That was my edited post, thank you for your comments
places to live for students
Students at university often choose to live [....]
On the one hand, if you choose dormitory you have to share the room with others, your private space will be very small. Not only living in the collective but also you have to follow the rules of the dormitory for example: you must come dormitory before 11pm, do not cook, the security.
On the other hand, unlike living in dormitory, living in apartments in the community also have a few benefits. You can have more privacy, you can do what you want in you apartment for example: cooking, arranging furniture or you can come home late without fear of disturbing others.
However, I think there are many benefits when you choose to live in dormitory: first in the dormitory with high security, second live in dormitory is much cheaper in the apartment so it helps students save some money, third that is the way of life and harmony in a collective, fourth live in dormitory you can connect with your classmates. Not only improving a lot of skills such as communication skills, teamwork skills, adaptive skills but also living in a dormitory helps students to become more sociable and good team-players and gain new knowledge and experience by using libraries and group discussion.
Overall, living in apartment in [....]
Living in the dormitory, I learned a lot thing that's reason I choose to live in the dormitory
