I entirely agree
Do not use an extent response when not required to do so. Learn to identify the expected response format and provide it as required. While the exaggerated response looks good, points will actually be lost due to improper formatting.
On the one hand
On the other hand
Wrong reasoning format. The discussion does not ask for a comparative discussion format in the original prompt. Therefore, it should not be used in the reasoning paragraphs. Only opinion supporting reasons will be scored. So, when you said,
many reasons
, you are expected to present 2 reasons that support this claim.
As an under explained opinion presentation, it will be difficult to say that it will get a passing score. With a less than minimum word count as the opposing view paragraph will not be considered, plus other scoring deductions , this essay has insurmountable scoring problems.