Australian teenagers and junk foods in their diet

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

This is my first attempt practicing on writing IELTS' Task 1 essay.

Fish and chips on antipodes

The graph shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers during 1975 until 2000. It displays the number of eaten per year for pizza, fish and chips and hamburgers within the period.

Overall fish and chips were eaten the most at the beginning of the period even though after two years, it decreased. In contrast, both pizza and hamburgers were eaten less at the beginning of the period but gradually they raised the number of eaten per year from the middle of the period.

Fish and chips were eaten 100 times per year in 1975 when pizza and hamburgers were at the bottom of the graph which were below 20. The former decreased five years later even though raised back again after that. However, in 1985 it dived down slightly below 40 times a year in 2000.

On the other hand, the rest of the fast food both raised constantly without going down even once. Fish and chips raised 100 in 2000 becoming the most eaten fast food. The later stopped raising in 1995 at 82, constantly stable in the position until 2000.

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Dany, the summary statement at the start should have been combined with the second paragraph to make a more informative presentation. It is too short for an actual overview of the discussion. Rather than immediately creating a second paragraph, you should have developed a way to outline the information for presentation instead. Remember, if you have less than 3 sentences in any paragraph, then you don't have a complete paragraph. That means a mark down on the final score because you didn't fully utilize the word count to show off your skills in English. Most importantly, develop your analytical skills for presentation as your current skillset is very amateurish. I hope to see more improvement in your next presentation. Make sure to take note of all the facts and figures before you write the essay so that you can write longer and more informative sentences for the examiner's consideration.

I think you can summarize the basic trend of the graph by saying that, for example, there are 2 main basic general trend: upward and downward

1. You wrote: ... of eaten per year for pizza, fish ...

Feedback: The article is missing before the noun: ''a pizza', 'the pizza''. (ART015)

2. You wrote: However, in 1985 it dived down slightly ...

Feedback: This phrase might be redundant. Use simply ''dived''.