IELTS - Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed

I am practicing the IELTS writing task 1 and would love to know how my writing, including grammar, coherency, and logic is. Thank you very much.

Summarise the information

Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA

The three pie charts demonstrate the proportion of three nutrients (sodium, saturated fat and added sugar), each being absorbed in four typical meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks), in the United States.

In general, people consume the most sodium and saturated fat in dinner, and the most added sugar in snacks. The diagram for sodium resembles the one of saturated fat, showing that more than half of the consumption of the two ingredients are conducted in dinner and lunch. Sodium is consumed 43% in dinner, 29% in lunch, and 14% in both breakfast and snacks. The sequence is the same for saturated fat, with a number of percentage being 37%, 26%, 21% and 16% respectively.

Whereas the ratio of added sugar being consumed in four meals are in the contrary different than that of the previous two nutrients. The highest consumption of added sugar happens in snacks, with 42%. Dinner comes as the second, with 23%. Lunch and breakfast take up the third and forth proportion with 19% and 16% each.

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"whereas" is not used like that, you must have 2 clauses in a sentence

Good analysis paragraphs. You presented a truly analytical presentation of the information from the pie chart. However, your summary overview isn't very good. You used only a run-on sentence in that presentation when it should still have used the 3-5 sentence format for the paragraph. Missing from your presentation are the trending sentence and properly divided overview information inclusive of a measurement type. While the summary may have some problems, the rest of your analysis information are well developed and easily understood. You have spelling issue though. The word is "fourth", which indicates the ordinal number after third. Forth means to go forward. Be aware of your word spelling and usage as errors in that section will affect your LR and GRA scores.