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The chart below show the average proportions of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar in meals

hana146 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2021   #1
***Could you mark this according to 4 criterias like in the real IELTS writing test, namely Task Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Many thanks!

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the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients

The pie charts detail the average proportions of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar eaten in four types of meals in the USA.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that sodium and saturated fat are consumed most during dinner, while in snacks, people eat added sugar with the highest amount. Furthermore, the closer to the end of the day, the more unhealthy food individuals consume in meals.

Regarding sodium, individuals consume it with the largest amount in dinner, at 43%; the same trend is witnessed in the consumption of saturated fat with 37% at the same time of the day. In contrast, both in breakfast and snacks, citizens have the least proportion of sodium consumed, at 14%. Meanwhile, this figure in lunch approximately doubles those in breakfast and snacks, at 29%. In addition, people take saturated fat with the least amount in breakfast, at 16%. This figure in additional meals and lunch are roughly the same, at 26% and 21%.

In terms of added sugar, over two fifths of this nutrient is taken in in snacks. This figure almost doubles the amount of added sugar consumed in dinner, which accounts for 23%. Lunch and breakfast record the minority of added sugar consumption, with 19% and 16%, respectively.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,037 4251  
Nov 28, 2021   #2
We do not rate the essays based on the IELTS considerations for free. For sectional scoring and assessment, you will have to contact us privately. Our free service only covers general reviews at this point. That will be the basis of the review for your essay.

The pie charts

Since you are mentioning the chart titles later on in the summary, you have to mention "the individual pie charts" to help the reader better understand the enumeration that will ber used later on in the summary sentence.

four types of meals

You have to list the 4 meals as specified in the overall image presentation. This will add to the clarity to the meal type reference as required. As a basic rule, when something is listed seperately in the image, you need to include that in the summary presentation. It adds to your task accuracy.

Your analysis reference is not balanced. You over focused on the explanation of the third paragraph, when these should have been divided into 2 paragraphs to correctly follow the balance of discussion for 2 or more images.

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