Write about the following topic.
Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.
Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Moving towards the 21st century, it is believed that online shopping is becoming more and more popular due to its convenience and better prices. From my perspective, the advantages of purchasing things on the Internet outweighs its disadvantages and some main points will be addressed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, the most apparent benefit of shopping online is its convenience. It cannot be denied that there is no line to wait in or cashiers to track down the purchases and you can do your shopping in minutes. Shopping online gives us the opportunity to shop 24/7, and also reward us with a "no pollution" shopping experience. To be more exact, there is no better place to buy informational things like e-books, which are available to you instantly, as soon as the payment goes through. Downloadable items purchased online eliminate the need for any kind of physical material at all, as well, which is more environmentally-friendly.
Some people assert that there are several risks of fraud in online shopping such as counterfeit products, credit card scam, etc. Fortunately, many e-commerce platforms which adopt credible purchase policies, namely Shoppe, Lazada, create favourable conditions for both sellers and buyers not to worry about this problem. Furthermore, if customers purchase things online frequently on these e-commerce platforms, they will offer you several vouchers, discount coupons, rebates and free delivery. Moreover, comparing and researching products and their prices is so much easier online. If you're shopping for appliances, for example, you can find consumer reviews and product comparisons for all the options on the market, with links to the best prices. We can research firsthand experience, ratings, and reviews for most products and retailers to make a more precise decision before purchasing something.
In conclusion, the demerits of e-commerce trends are overshadowed by the merits resulting from modern technology. I am convinced that online shopping is one of the great innovations of people doing transactions as it reduces time and provides more benefits and options.
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Not towards. We already exist in the 21st century. This is incorrect word choice as it relates to your LR score. You should have used the word "forward" to indicate active existence for the reader in the current / 21st century.
outweighs its disadvantages
Because? This was an excellent thesis foundation. Sally, rather than starting off witha strong discussion topic, you chose to open with a weak instruction restatement instead. You have limited your ability to get a high TA score with this presentation. You start off the essay with low scores in the TA and LR sections. Not a very good preliminary score.
You must remember the discussion instruction / question:
DO THE ADVANTAGES OF SHOPPING IN THIS WAY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?
The problem with this presentation is that you do not really disprove that the advantage is really a disadvantage. Rather you have one paragraph explaining the advantage and one covering the disadvantage. Your formatneeds correction. The correct discussion approach, based on your essay could have been:People say that online shopping saves people time because they don't have to go to the store. This practice actually has strong disadvantages because...
Then, there is the affordability of brandname products that turn out tobe counterfeit. Since the item cannot be examined online...
As you can see, the clarity of the discussion paragraph format as it aligns itself to the discussion question will increase the possibility of a higher C+C score. Something your format cannot achieve.