Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


There are many bad effects instead of advantages for people who use electronic media excessively



mardian24 46 / 60  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Several people have used electronic device to communicate with someone else, but sometimes it has mad bad impact in people's life. However, in my opinion, I tend to agree that electronic device has obviously caused drawback outweigh the positive effect.


Having a distance place make people want to have a talk with others. Thus, they always want to communicate with their friends, colleagues, and relatives. Because of electronic device, sometimes people do not want to go to their family and choose to stay at home. It makes inhabitants do not have good relationship because it is totally different between having a call and coming into someone's home. People do not feel that someone exist in their life and cannot touch or hug their family. For instance, when I was in university, I used to communicate by mobile phone rather than visit my family. As a result, the relationship between me and my relatives is decrease. That is why people need to go to their families's home.

However, electronic device has supported people to communicate in their life. People can contact their family who live so far away or even in different country in the world. Also, they can call someone whenever and wherever they want by modern media. It does not takes long time to get access with someone else as well. For example, Maradona can ask where is the position of Messi directly by phone. Thus, electronic device is very helpful to make relationship closer than before.

All in all, there are many bad effects instead of the advantages for people who use electronic media. In my opinion, I agree that electronic device give bad impact and people should make a limitation for using gadget and at least one time in a month come to visit their family.

SarlindaDS_27 42 / 51  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Hello, Mr. Mardian :)
Let me give you some corrections :)

.....Because of THE electronic device, sometimes ...
... do not have Agood relationship because ...
... between me and my relatives is decreaseDECREASED.
... need to go to their families'sFAMILIES'=>PLURAL POSSESSIVE OF THE NOUN home.

However, THE electronic device has ...
... family who liveS so far away or even in THE different country ...

Overall, I think you just less attention to your article usage :) be better next time good luck :)


Home / Writing Feedback / There are many bad effects instead of advantages for people who use electronic media excessively
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳