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Ielts Writing Task 1 bar chart The average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different


hallynguyen13579 3 / 4 3  
Feb 18, 2020   #1

childcare, house work and gardening activities among married men and women



The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown
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The bar chart compares how married male and female in three different categories spend hours on unpaid jobs at home, such as childcare, house work and gardening per week.

In general, no matter how many children a married woman has, she always works more unpaid hours per week than a man does.

As can be seen from the diagram, the number of unpaid hours of childless women overwhelms that of women with children. If a female without children averagely use up 30 hours a week doing home activities, that figure is almost twice in the case of the 1 to 2-child moms and 3-child moms for approximately 50 and 60 hours in respectively.

Looking at married men's data. While there is a comparable difference in time used on unpaid work at home between women of the three kinds aforementioned, men from all groups spend the same average amount of 20 unpaid hours.

(152 words)
P/s: I'm grateful for all of your responses. I'm really worried about my poor writing. I aim 6.5 in Ielts writing or above.



vuthuylinh2611 19 / 61 1  
Feb 18, 2020   #2
In general, I think that your idea is organized quite logically. However, there are still some minor grammatical errors:
Para 3: a female - a woman; use -> uses. The structure of this sentence also need revising for consistency.
Para 4: "Looking at men's data" is not a completed sentence.
GATE 9 / 17 1  
Feb 18, 2020   #3
As you are aiming for 6.5, it is touching the mark.

Para 3:
" the number of unpaid hours of childless women overwhelms that of women with children." This is incorrect because of the word "overwhelms". check its meaning and change the sentence.

" for approximately 50 and 60 hours in respectively." - again incorrect.could be written as - reaching approximately ...


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