IELTS Writing Task 1: Bar Chart Owned and Rented Households

the percentage of households in England and Wales

The figure compares the proportion of households in purchased and rented housing in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Overall, with continuous rise over the period, the percentage of families living in owned accommodation was higher than the percentage of households in leased apartments and houses.

In 1918, the proportion of purchased housing was 78% while that of rented accommodation was merely 22%. From 1918 to 1961, due to the steady increase in percentage of apartments and houses under the term of lease, there is significant change in the proportions of the two means of housing. While the percentage of bought accommodation dropped from 78% down to roughly 60%, that of rented houses and flats rocketed to 40%. It is noticeable that the percentage of both types of accommodation were 50%.

Interestingly, the period from 2001 to 2011 witnessed the decrease in proportion of purchased housing. Although there had been continuous rise in the percentage of leased accommodation, the year 2011 experienced a decline from 70% to 63%.

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  householdscompresse.jpg
  

The presentation is acceptable, with somewhat clear discussions. The essay delivers on almost all the required data presentation. However, the paragraph presentations rely mostly on long sentence presentations seperated by commas.

Known as run-on sentences, students tend to confuse the format with that of a complex sentence. These run-on sentences are actually improper grammar presentations. The lack of varied punctuation usage to increase the degree of thought clarity and topic seperation, along with a single data reporting style limits the ability of the writer to actually show his skills when it comes to information presentation.

Varying the sentence presentations to reflect proper simple and complex sentence presentations would help limit the G R A shortcomings of the essay. Better paragraph development, by increasing the sentence count to 3 or 4 per paragraph would help accomplish that.

... of households in purchasing and renting houses in England and Wales from1918 to 2011.