Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 4

IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The bar chart below shows most popular social networks worldwide as of January

Do Thanh Thong 1 / -  
Jul 6, 2021   #1

social networks summary

The bar chart shows the number of users of popular social networks as of January 2021. According to the most recent data, Facebook is the king of social media, with 2.80 billion active members as of January 2021. YouTube comes in second on the list of most popular social media sites in 2020, with about 2.3 billion active users. WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger are the third and fourth most popular social media networks, with two billion and 1.3 billion active users, respectively. They are classed as a message, chat, and/or phone platform One interesting fact is that if we add Tiktok and Douyin (Tiktok in China) users, this young network will surpass Instagram or even Facebook Messenger in the near future. These figures demonstrate Facebook's dominance in the social media world. More than half of the six most popular social media sites are Facebook properties, including Facebook, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Instagram.

Thanks so much!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,252 3656  
Jul 7, 2021   #2
The presentation format is off. The writer must train himself to write in the standard 3 paragraph format composed of 3- 5 sentences each. The paragraphs should be divided into:

Paragraph 1 - Summary overview + trending statement
Paragraph 2 - Comparison explanation
Paragraph 3 - Analysis consideration
Paragraph 4 (optional) - Additional reporting data not suited in the trending statement (overlapping points, equal measurements, etc. ). Usually used when 2 images are being compared and discussed.

This is an academic paper. Popular references like "King of social media" are exaggerated claims used in daily conversation but, not in academic writing. Bear in mind the professional audience who will read the report and use suitable reference terms to create a professional paper.
Jenny237 1 / 2  
Jul 7, 2021   #3
I think you should divide the passage into paragraphs and use more cohesive words in it.
tung5320 1 / 2  
Jul 22, 2021   #4
You should divide it into 4 paragraph
Paragraph 1: Introduction
Paragraph 2: Overview
Paragraph 3: Grouping data
Paragraph 4: Grouping data
The paper could be more logical in this way!

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The bar chart below shows most popular social networks worldwide as of January