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Many believe that individuals can do little to improve the environment. There's nothing we can't do.


vipro 1 / -  
Apr 8, 2021   #1
Many believe that individuals can do little to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a real difference.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



The human awareness about environment is rise rapidly day by day, following the timeline. Someone believe that each person can improve the ecosystem by contribute their little works while other think only big organizations can put on great impact. I totally disagree with the statement that only enterprises can make difference because of the following reasons under.

To begin with, we can infer from society that million of small ideas that share the same build up a big thing. The activity by human, too, is considerable when it united bilion of daily activities. For instance, all of people throw trash to the sea in one day could make the marine life demolished, or people just not use the nylon bags could make the world change. Governments and large companies, for truly to say, terminate more than what they do for the better of environment; while they raise fund by revenue of workers to show their concern about nature, they dump waste to the river, discharge fumes and cut down trees in other areas.

The governments are cooperate with them to take advantages from them.
In the other hand, big companies would not make any differences if people did not agree with their activities. The customers always bigger than companies or industrials, they control every organizations. So the impact on the environment can be go up or down is depend on customers requires. For example, with the objection of customers about food wasting, the Dunkin' Donuts have to negotiate that they will be able to saving the waste money on food waste to raise fund about plant trees in some countries.

In conclusion, we can see that only people are united, there will be nothing that we could not do, even the changes of ecosystem.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,531 3447  
Apr 9, 2021   #2
The human awareness about environment is rise rapidly day by day, following the timeline.

- This sentence does not make any sense. How does this relate to information from the original prompt. You are not clear on the subject or intention of this sentence thus making it stressful for the reader to analyze. This will lower your GRA score.

I totally disagree with the statement that only enterprises can make difference because of the following reasons under.

- Another statement that does not make any sense. You could have ended the sentence at "enterprises can make difference" then offered a few reasons for the opinion rather than saying "reasons under." This leaves the reader questioning the reasons. Reasons such as? Reasons under what? Another cause for heavy GRA points deductions.

The main problem with your essay is in the clarity of your presentation. I can see evidence that you understood the prompt and what you are required to discuss. The problem, is that you are not properly translating your response from your mother tongue to English. That is why the sentence structures are all incorrect, unclear, and little developed. You have to practice thinking and writing in English rather than translating from your first language to your second language. That is the big reason why your essay will fail.
LadyOfClockwork 31 / 102  
Apr 10, 2021   #3
Hi. As @Holt said, I believe it would have been better if you had outlined the reasons for your position at the end of the last sentence in the first paragraph as opposed to giving ambiguous indications such as "reasons under", leaving readers confused. I don't think readers, especially examiners, have the time and intertest to play a guessing game, that is, to figure out themselves what the reasons actually are. They want to know the general idea of your essay at the very first glance at it.

If I write the essay, I will write "I totally disagree because individuals, however powerless they seem, can play a major role in environmental protection even through the simplest acts such as not littering"

Personally, I do not like your example "all of people throw trash to the sea in one day..." Perhaps you live by the sea, but there are a great many people who live in inner villages, towns and citys, and I don't think you example goes down well with them. In addition, domestic sewage and industrial easte are discharged at sea everyday, not "in one day", mostly at the hands of companys such as chemical plants instead of individuals.

Why not use simpler and clearer examples? Such as not littering. If most of people put trash in the bin rather than throw it carelessly, the environment will be more pleasant. That is the demonstration of individuals' power.


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