[IELTS TASK 2] Some believe that lot of scientific research is a waste of time and money

TOPIC:
SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT A LOT OF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH IS A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY.

TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Some are of the opinion that it is pointless investing time and means in the science industry as most outcomes are improbable. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this view and will further elaborate in this essay.

It is undeniable that scientific research is counterproductive. Vague as the purposes might be, scientists dedicate themselves to these studies. Some of these research projects may take years to be proven right; however, there is no certainty that a breakthrough will be produced. Moreover, self-proclaimed scientists, whose sole desire is recognition, are inventing impractical products, namely the umbrella shoes or the walking sleeping bag.

Having said that, the science industry has made remarkable progress in unveiling mysteries around the world, which has contributed to enlarge human's understanding. Breakthrough can be elucidated with the supplied knowledge obtained from scientific research; hence an encouragement to allocate for the industry. To illustrate the case, the invention of Kepler Space Telescope has allowed us to broaden our knowledge of the outer space with the confirmation of over 2700 exoplanets.

Furthermore, scientific breakthoughs help facilitating human's life. Over the past few centuries, some discoveries and inventions have marked noteworthy milestones; therefore have made immense contribution in uplifting human society. Without science, treatments to fatal diseases like plague or cancer would not be found and we might never have chance to access the Internet. As a prime example for the case, new avenues to preventing the spread of HIV have been opened thanks to scientists' dedicated studies.

In conclusion, I believe that there are more reason to encourage the allocation of time and funds for the promotion of scientific research. It is predicted that science will continue to play an irreplaceable role in human's quest for knowledge.

Thank you so much for your kind support!

This is a 4 paragraph, not 5 paragraph essay. There is no instruction for a comparison of 2 points of view plus a personal opinion. Therefore, your format is incorrect. This is a single opinion essay that uses 2 supporting reasons in the reasoning paragraphs. Your paraphrase section still uses the word time, which came from the original. You should revise time to indicate effort or hours. Use any similar reference word to add to the LR score. In the response, you gave a good extent response, but should have indicated the 2 reasons for your opinion instead of simply saying you will elaborate further. The topic sentences in the paraphrase section will help give a clearer idea of your opinion and why, thus increasing your TA score.

You are confusing a scientist with an inventor. A scientist may be an inventor, but an inventor is not always a scientist. So your reference point for discussion in the first reasoning paragraph is incorrect. It is also confusing since you made a mistake in using reference terms in that section. You are also creating a conflict of opinion in your presentation because you are saying one thing as your opinion, but then defending the other side as well. You cannot do that in a single opinion presentation. You must defend only the opinion you believe in otherwise, the essay delivers an unclear and divided opinion to the reader that does not support your thesis statement in the paraphrase.

The conflicting aspect came from you saying that


But then you also indicated ;


Which one is it? Which side do you really support? The essay thus becomes unclear and will result in a confusing opinion presentation and appropriate score for the discussion error.

You should re-structure your essay to a 4-paragraph essay, in which you will discuss equally your ideas in 2 bodies. Within each body, provide 1 topic sentence, 2 supporting sentences (ideas) with attached examples.

The second sentence the conclusion is quite excessive.