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Ielts writing task 2: scientific research - who should take responsibility?

alittlebit 1 / 1  
Jan 14, 2022   #1
Task 2: Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies.

Do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age, science serves as a powerful tool to prosperously improve the world. Therefore, some people face a dilemma about the question of who should take responsibility for scientific research. While some individuals believe that corporations should carry out scientific projects, I agree with those who think scientific experiments should be supervised and funded by the state.

There are two underlying danger factors when the private company controls science. First of all, they may be lured to make inaccurate experiments in order to maximize profits. They might manipulate the results which can bring benefits for them or boost the sale of companies' products. For instance, some chemical corporations want to enlarge their revenue so that they produce adverse pesticides in order to kill insects, worms, or ladybirds as much as possible. They can lead to the imbalance of the ecosystem and push some tidy animals into the verse of extinction. Secondly, if genetic engineering is carried out by corporations, they can not ensure the quality and ethical perspective. For example, private companies might produce genetically modified crops and these plants have some unproven effects. However, they do not take responsibility for their mistakes and nature might meddle.

On the other hand, it might be essential for the government to supervise scientific research. Firstly, government decision-making is the best way to prioritize the expenditure on specific areas of research and do not break into new markets. Given renewable energy as an example, the development of this clean energy can foster the standard of living and reduce contamination. Last but not least, the state's budget is large so they can allocate their revenue to scientific experiments annually. This can attract excellent individuals who contribute their talent to make useful products.

In conclusion, science is instrumental for the world. If the private corporations can control, they might use it to collect money and bring negative influences. Therefore, the state is ideal to carry out science experiments because of their large subsidy and prosperous values.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,308 3991  
Jan 15, 2022   #2
In this day and age,

The writer must remember that the paragraph needs to contain only basic information to meet the restatement + opinion requirements. The one thing that it must refer to is the personal opinion of the writer. Yes, a thesis statement is an opinion representation. However, it does not go into a detailed discussion yet. That is the problem with this presentation The first sentence is the writer's personal opinion, which altered the topic statement and thus, will result in deducted points. Good work on the thesis statement though.

The first reasoning paragraph is unnecessary and will not be helpful in the scoring of this essay. That is because, the essay requires 2 supporting reasons for the writer's opinion. The explanation supporting the opposite point if view us unwarranted and will not be considered as a part of the C+C considerations. That paragraph creates an under developed reasoning presentation instead.

it might be essential

Points lost for lack of conviction and convincing reason for the writer's opinion. The opinion went from clear and assured, to uncertain. Which means the overall discussion is not projecting the clarity of the writer's opinion. The main score is based on the strength of the writer's reasoning presentation. Any points of uncertainty adversely affect the score.

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