Essay about the benefits and drawbacks about international travel

the popularity of traveling abroad

Travelling abroad has became more and more popular. Nowadays, many families want to spend their holiday overseas to visit and experience new countries. People can have fun and relax after a long period of hard work. Along with the benefits of travelling, there are unfortunately many drawbacks that negatively affect tourists.

One of the biggest advantages of travelling overseas is that it makes the world closer and safer. People are allowed to experience different cultures and understand more about local people's life, which encourages people to know more about others. Additionally international travel enables people to broaden their horizon and global understanding. We get the opportunity to learn new languages, experience cuisines and visit new places. For example, you can experience enormous specialities from many countries around the world such as France, Italy and Korea. Furthermore, we are also allowed to know more about the people from other cultures and their personalities. In particular, if you get to pay a visit to Germany, you will find that the Germans are very strict with the rules. They will be angry if you disobey the rules , even accidentally/the slightest mistake cannot be accepted.

On the other hand, travelling abroad contains many drawbacks. First of all, most of international travel requires using the airway. Each time you have to pay an enormous amount of money to pay the airway bill. Moreover, you must spend another large sum of money for other expenses including accommodation, restaurant, entertainment, etc. It costs around $700 to $1000 for a whole trip. Secondly, travelling by airplanes causes air pollution. Every year airplanes release a huge amount of emission of greenhouse gas, which is detrimental to the environment. The greenhouse gas emission also causes global warming, which is destroying the Earth, especially the habitat of the aquatic animals. For instant, global warming is directly melting the North Pole which leads the dead of whales.

In summary, the popularity of international travel is a positive thing because travelling allows people to experience and learn more about outside world. However, it can also result in some negative outcomes such as money and environmental issues.

There are several problems with this essay starting with the prompt paraphrase. You did not really reintroduce the given discussion topic in a manner that notes the original reasons for the discussion. The reasons being:

- enormous benefits to many places
- impact on the environment

So the essay focuses on the tourism aspect of the discussion. The reasoning paragraphs should have represented:

- The advantage of tourism to the country (One expanded topic sentence discussion)
- The disadvantage in terms of the impact on the environment of the country (One expanded topic discussion)

Focus on one reasoning topic per paragraph so that you can focus on the clarity of your explanation and score better because you will be able to properly connect the two discussion topics within the presentation. It isn't about the word count, it's about the kind of English explanation abilities you present in the essay. The discussion approach should have been a solid analysis of the tourism effect on your own country. That would have given you the strongest con and pro argument since you are living within the results of the aforementioned tourism scenarios. Just don't use personal pronouns and the essay would have been fantastic.

Exam takers often neglect to take note of the required discussion parameters in the essay. You failed to note that in this case, which is why you did not discuss the essay based on the suggested discussion format. by showing the examiner that you are discussing the essay based on the implied reasons and scenarios, you will prove your English comprehension abilities (ability to understand the discussion provided) and also, proper format the response to the full benefit of your individual scoring considerations.

Thank you @Holt for your feedback.
P.S I'm 14 so I need to learn a lot.