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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Essay about the benefits and drawbacks of shopping online



Maxi_0511 1 / 2  
Jul 7, 2021   #1
Buying things on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.

Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?



With the development of technology, online purchasing has been widely used globally such as buying books, air tickets and groceries. Although this trend comprises of negative impacts, there are still more reasons how worthwhile shopping online is for the individuals.

Buying goods online does not give us the proper security. There are various issues arising every day in regards to hacking buyer's bank accounts and scamming them using fraud stores online in which sellers do not ship the goods after paying the order. Another reason is the product's quality and size. Sellers post attractive pictures of the products such as clothings, in order to persuade people from buying them. This easily catches people's attention but when they receive them, these are totally different from the pictures showed and their size can be larger or smaller as buyers do not have the chance to fit them.

However, the preference of people from buying on the internet has remained unchanged mainly because of the feeling of convenience they get from it. It is true that people nowadays are getting busier and busier, without having so much time for shopping. As a result, they use their time wisely by visiting a website and clicking the items they want to purchase. Also, the condition of traffic on the road will definitely be better. More to that, in this time of pandemic, it is unsafe to move around in public places, hence, this method of buying immensely avoids people from going out and greatly helps the government in monitoring the cases of the country.

To conclude, it is unavoidable that some things go wrong when people buy things online, however, its drawbacks are not as much as the benefits people get from online purchasing.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Jul 8, 2021   #2
The second paragraph is misplaced in the discussion. The point of this discussion is to prove that a commonly believed disadvantage is really an advantage. This must be proven twice. One evidence for each paragraph. The format is:

Sentence 1- disadvantage
sentence 2- perception error
Sentence 3- Actual advantage of the disadvantage
Sentence 4 - Example
sentence 5- Additional explanation

The first paragraph will not help the score since it is an unrelated reason. The second reasoning paragraph is relevant but not fully explained. The provided reasons do not work without proper explanation development. It will not recieve a passing TA score. The presentation lacks focused reasoning development because the writer failed to use a proper format for explanation build-up per topic. Had the reasons in the 2nd reasoning paragraph been properly explained as 2 topic paragraphs, this would have been a high scoring essay.


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