Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS Task 2: The benefits of multigenerational workplace



coke 14 / 26  
Mar 21, 2019   #1

Today, the younger and older generations are in the same workplace

.
Is this more an advantage or more disadvantage?


Seeing young generations sharing the same working environment with the older ones have become more common these days. This essay will argue that such development brings huge advantages to the workplace.

The increase in productivity is the prime reason to let people from different generations work together. While the creativity of the young blows new air to any business projects, the rich experiences of older workers help solve any problems or difficulties occurred. Their coordination, therefore, will significantly reduce the time required to finish the company's project while maintaining a high level of product quality. For example, thanks to the cooperation of the senior and the junior workers in the software department, my company has successfully delivered the final product to our customer two weeks before the deadline.

Moreover, the co-existence of workers of different ages will make the atmosphere in the office less boring and dull. Many people admit that they tend to avoid conversations with their colleagues in the same age group because the topics to discuss quickly runs out. This tendency will eventually turn an active and lively office into a silent retirement home where no one talks unless it is about work. Hence, a multigenerational office will be able to promote communication between co-workers as there are always things to talk about. For instance, junior workers can share their modern lifestyles while the seniors can remind the young generation of how peaceful and tranquil life was in the past, and the list of topics goes on.

In conclusion, putting workers of different ages together is definitely beneficial to any office as this development improves productivity and working atmosphere.

Constance [Contributor] - / 19  
Mar 22, 2019   #2
Just a few questions that when answered will strengthen what has been written. What do you mean by "While the creativity of the young blows new air to any business projects,"? Clarify this statement.

Paragragh two is very strong. Elaborate on the advantages of senior and younger people sharing ideas. Two or three examples would be beneficial since you own a company with people in this age group. The paper is good but could be made stronger by adding a few more examples.
anhpnguyen 4 / 4  
Mar 28, 2019   #3
... with the older ones haves become more ...
... brings huge advantages to the workplace. company/business

I think you can work to improve some of the word choices here. You also can write the thesis statement more clear. The co-operation of different generations in company proves to be effective in increasing productivities.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The benefits of multigenerational workplace
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳