Was this written for the Task 2 IELTS essay or TOEFL test? You have to indicate which test you are writing for next time because the rules for reviewing your essay will vary depending on the type of test you plan to take. If this is just for general English writing practice, then say so as well so that the general review guidelines can be applied to your work. As of now, I will consider this a general essay and advise accordingly. If I use one of the 2 standard English test to review this, the word count and errors will be heavily considered as part of the review.
Without risk and going through things ourselves will not do us any good in learning process.
This is the result of an action. So what is the subject of the sentence? There is an error in the structure of the sentence which should have been:
We will not learn anything if we do not take a risk and go through it ourselves.
I can see that you have an understanding of the given prompt. The problem, is that your grasp of the meaning of certain English words tends to be incorrect. It appears that you do have a vast English word chest, but you do not really understand the meaning of the word or how to use it in a sentence. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to rewrite your whole essay, which is what I am tempted to do to show you and correct your mistakes. (*Note: Students cannot rewrite the essay as advice, that will result in account suspension)
So focus on learning word meaning first. That means getting a dictionary and reading the meaning of a word before you use it in the essay. You are practicing, you have time to do that. It will help you improve your vocabulary usage and sentence structure.