new language education for kids
Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school
As far as education is concerned, especially learning a foreign language, there is an idea that I mostly gravitate to : it's.... school" for some of following reason
First of all, primary children have a higher amount of time than secondary school which is a great benefit. The cirriculum at primary consist only 5-6 for all week. Most children only learn half day so they can seperate and divide their time appropriately to learn new language in the afternoon or night.
Last but not least, the cognitive system of children is surprsingly faster and sensitive to new skill than adolescents. As soon as new thing is learned, it is nutured and embedded in the brain of children in a lasting and stable way throughout their lives. The learning process of older is much more time- consuming and effective. For instance, children take 1 hour to learn 20 vocabulary whereas secondary students spend up to 2 hour to learn by heart and forget it in the follwoing day.
To sum up I strongly believe that learning should begin at an as early stage as possible. Above all, when you are still a little boy or girl you should be aware of the urgence of learning and developing yourself through not only language but also soft skills and so on
I can see there are a lot of errors such as grammer error, spell error and most of the sentences not making any sense. You need to work hard on that
Watch out for your grammatical errors. Most of them are technical mistakes. I recommend that you try to use languages that are more appropriate for this essay. As this is an informative essay, it warrants that you should also have similar composition for its purpose. In addition, omit words that are unnecessary for building your content.
For instance, in your first paragraph:
Experts believe that children better learn foreign languages at primary school rather than secondary school. [...]
Notice how removing the word some does not necessarily change the meaning of the sentence. When you can determine these words, it will help you create more strategic sentence structures.
Let's take a look at other portions of the essay.
Errors are sporadically seen throughout your essay.
Restructure your essay in a better light through refining the forms of the words that you have.
If we take a look at your third paragraph, it should be:
Last but not the least, children's cognitive system* is faster and more sensitive to new skills compared to adults. [...]
*Placing children before cognitive system and allocating ownership is a great way to help you trim down your word count.
Consistency is key when you're writing. Notice how I mentioned faster alongside more sensitive as they both require a sense of being more than what was previously in the situation. Doing these things is a sure way of creating more appropriate substance.
Best of luck!
There are several grammatical mistakes that you can take care of, for example : To sum up I strongly believe that learning...
This can be written as "I strongly believe that learning should begin as early as possible" or "I strongly believe that learning should begin at an early stage"
I think you should do more writing practice because you did not even meet the word requirement. In addtion to that you made several grammatical mistakes which some of the members cited out for you. I hereby to suggest you be informed more about the IELTS test and if you wish your essay was more sensible, you should read sample essays on the internet and try to apply their style to polish your writing.