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It Is Better to be An Entrepreneur than a worker of company.



hirani03 36 / 46  
Sep 1, 2016   #1
Write about the following topic.
Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Having a job is one of human necessary in life. There are many jobs as the options. People can be employee or entrepreneur as long as they are ready to receive the consequence. I believe that become businessmen outweigh any drawbacks.

When someone has special skills, he / she can creates an own business. It needs much money to start it. They must be brave to execute the idea and to carry out the business. They have to ready with all possibilities which may occur. Besides that, it takes big responsibility. All of decisions must be considerable, clear, and rational. Once it contains a mistake, it can be fatal. The business suddenly can be bankrupt. On the other hand, becomes businessman has several points in its favor.

The first benefit to be entrepreneur is becomes a leader of company. It means there are several staff and employees. The skill of leadership is surely excellent. To pay the worker need a skill especially in money management. This also means the leader already independence on financial. Besides that, the chief of factory is certainly competence in many aspects such as in training the assistance or new comers, know the condition of enterprise, and know the necessary of workers. In addition, the entrepreneur is open minded one. She or he has the way to solve trouble, include intern or extern problem of the company, and having a wonderful decision to give solution for every side.

All in all, posses own business is more benefit than become a worker of company. However, it is better to pay the salary of staff than earn much money from factory.

Iforsa 35 / 52  
Sep 1, 2016   #2
can creates create an own business
The first benefit to be entrepreneur isbecomes a leader of company --> double verb
It means there are several staff staffs and employees
To pay the worker need needs a skill especially ...
akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Sep 1, 2016   #3
Here are my vantage points about your essay. Chech them.
^_^


one of human necessary

ONE OF HUMAN NECESSITIES. Please, you call attention to the meaning of your sentence. The major error occurred in the first sentence. It can represent your essay.

I believe that become businessmen outweigh any drawbacks.

HOWEVER, WHEN THOSE CONSIDER TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR, THEY HAVE TO FACE BENEFITS AND DRAWBACKS OF STARTING A BUSSINESS.
You are supposed to the statement. Please, you are not out the track.


When someone has special skills, he / she can creates an own business. It needs much money to start it.

The first and second sentence are related. It is because you explained by jumping. There has to be smoother. Actually, you did not need writing the first sentence. It will only make this messy.

They must be brave to execute the idea and to carry out the business. They have to ready with all possibilities

It is still messy. I have not found a sense in your writing. Your flow is not good.
THE OWNERS MUST BE BRAVE TO EXECUTE THE IDEA AND TO CARRY OUT THE BUSINESS WITH THE CONSEQUENCE THAT THEY HAVE TO BE READY WITH ALL....

Miss Hikma, Almost all paragraph were unstructured. The main reason is that you explain your mind systematically. Your coherence is so far from what is wanted by band descriptor.

I am really sure you can pass this section well on condition that you wanna provide much time to read the examples. You need to understand the good flow and sense of the essay. As many as you read, you will understand deeper about the essential elements. There are a great number of websites which offers ease to learn the examples.

Don't think much. Action.. Action.. Practice more and more.
GOOD LUCK :D


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