Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


'better to marry a similar partner' - TOEFL


H_H 1 / 4  
Feb 14, 2012   #1
Dear all,
I would appreciate if you could give your critical comments to improve it. Thank you very much.

==============
Even though many people believe at the proverb of "marriage is fate", the concern on the similarity or difference of the two partners is commonly raised at the time when ones think of entering marriage life. From my own view and experience, I think that marrying a person similar to you would build successful long-term relationships as it helps avoid conflicts, and it creates more funs while enjoying and sharing the same hobbies.

First of all, conflicts about everything between two individuals who have just finished the freedoms of single lives popularly occurs during the several initial years of marriage, Similar couples often have fewer arguments than the different ones. Taking an anniversary as an example, it is easy for the couple who have similar characteristics to decide to organize their event at home or in a restaurant, with friends or not. If they are different, let us say the wife is an out-going person and the husband is not, quarrels can obviously induce even with this simple discussion. Therefore, with abundance of more serious issues in family life such as building a house, managing the family finance and expenditure or educating children etc, the similarity of couple is a crucial factor to help them to reach quick decisions satisfying both sides, which contributes to maintain happy life.

Second, the similar nature could magnify various activities of common interest for couples to facilitate their joyful life. If both have the same hobby of watching films rather than news, they could share evening time together after dinners. This evidently attributes to their feelings of being closer to each other as well as understanding each other better after watching and discussing situations in the movies imitated those in reality. In contrast, the different traits between husband and wife could form accumulated uncomfortable sensations that erode their amour emotion, leading to the ruin of the marriage. For example, I have a close friend who divorced his wife in 3 years after their wedding date. One of the main causes that led to their separation is the different hobbies. At first glance, they found each other very attractive via their different hobbies. After a period of time living together, the spiritual distance between them increased. They could hardly talk to each other during spare time since each one had his/her own hobbies. Moreover, it was too challenging for them to find some topics that interested both due to each own differentiations. In addition, according to the annual report of Population and Family Central Committee of Hanoi - the capital of Vietnam,, a large proportion of the couples who submitted divorce petitions to the district civil courts stated that the main reason is that they are too different to accept the other partner's behaviors and lifestyles.

To conclude, it appears that for the sake of long-term happy life, someone should marry a similar partner rather than a spouse who holds different temperaments from his/hers. This character will secure the couple's common interests and hobbies. However, if you have a spouse different from you, you should try to minimize this gap in some ways.
goku123 8 / 16  
Feb 15, 2012   #2
Therefore, with abundance of more serious issues in family life such as building a house, managing the family finance and expenditure or educating children etc, the similarity of couple is a crucial factor to help them to reach quick decisions satisfying both sides, which contributes to maintain happy life. ------->maintain a happy life or maintain happy lives.

I think you express the idea well and also demonstrate your English ability. While, I am not really good at English so that I can not analyze your essay with professionalism, There might be some small mistakes existing in the article, but, in my view, I do not think those really heavily affect your grades.

I am also a TOEFL-IBT preparer so you can just consider my opinion a middle, or worse level reference.

Good luck!
OP H_H 1 / 4  
Feb 15, 2012   #3
Thanks Goku123,
I do appreciate your comment and encouragement. your point on my mistake is correct. You have a good observation :) Let's practice then!
goku123 8 / 16  
Feb 16, 2012   #4
Thank for your feedback, too!

I agree with your opinion~ When I was practicing that essay about celebrities you just read, I really worried that I was deviating from the topic.

Let's try our best!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 23, 2012   #5
First of all, conflicts about everything between two individuals who have just finished the freedoms of single lives popularly occurs during the several initial years of marriage. S imilar couples often have fewer arguments than the others .

If they are different, let us say the wife is an out-going person and the husband is not, quarrels can obviously be induced even with this simple discussion.

This evidently attributes to their feelings of being closer to each other as well as understanding each other better after watching and discussing situations in the movies which imitated those in reality.

One of the main causes that led to their separation was their different hobbies.

:)


Home / Writing Feedback / 'better to marry a similar partner' - TOEFL
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳