Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS TASK 2 It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed

helld 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2024   #1
It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy?
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that being jobless is better than having a job without enjoyment. I strongly agree with this statement because working without satisfaction leads them to feel a sense of pressure.

On the one hand, recruiting employees who have no enthusiasm for work cannot help increase companies' growth. Instead, they would be their drawback. Because people who are unhappy with their jobs do not consider their development and avoid additional effort to take on extra responsibility. In this time, despite companies pouring money into the education of these workers, it cannot provide high efficiency because employees do not have an avid desire for career advancement in their field. This not only affects their own career prospects but also impacts the overall efficiency and productivity of the organization. In contrast, unemployment may provide individuals with the time and freedom to explore alternative career paths or pursue further education that aligns with their passions and interests.

On the other hand, this kind of employee tends to feel a sense of stress or sadness due to dissatisfaction with their job. And it leads to chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart-related illnesses, and so on. For example, studies have consistently shown that workplace dissatisfaction is closely linked to increased stress levels, anxiety, and depression. In addition, workers always suffer from spending quality time with their relatives and families. Such situations occur, especially among unenthusiastic workers. In contrast, unemployed people have the opportunity to be their family and look after them.

In conclusion, I totally agree that being unemployed is better than working without interest because of the negative feelings that come with chronic diseases and the challenge of dedicating time to their family.

@ helld
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,787 4778  
Mar 10, 2024   #2
The essay starts off strong with a very good prompt restatement, a clear writer's opinion, and an excellent thesis statement. However, the presentation encounters problems when it gets to the reasoning paragraphs. The discussion format becomes incorrect.

As this is a single opinion essay, the examiner will score only the paragraphs that align in reasoning with your presented writer's opinion and thesis statement. Any irrelevant paragraphs, those that do not support he discussion, not be considered nor given a score. Therefore, it is important that you keep your discussion aligned to the single opinion defense format.

When a comparison essay is written in place of a single opinion, the examiner will reduce the score due to the non applicable paragraph and in the process, lacking word count. That means the essay will not receive passing marks.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳