Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Is boarding at school ideal for students in contrast to staying at home with their parents?



huyhoangnk01 2 / 5  
Aug 31, 2020   #1

Better for students to live far away from home or not



Nowadays, people believe that boarding at school is ideal for college students than staying at home with their parents. From my perspective, living far away from home is the optimal choice because students will have the chance to learn how to live in this world independently and make more rooms for new relationships.

In the past, many parents protected their children from the negative influence and assisted them with all the chores in the house, so that students living at home may completely concentrate on their academic study. Besides, having a chance to live on their own, these students will become more independent because they have to calculate precisely for anything that involves money, think carefully before making important decisions, and take responsibility for their health, career, and relationships. From my personal experience, if you thought that you had prepared for obstacles or frauds, you would be extremely disappointed after being fooled countless times. For example, many of my friends who had chosen to live in the dormitory or rented a boarding house, after a few years, they turned out to be reliable and self-reliant.

Getting to the door of the college, you would have left most of your old friends behind since each person had their dreams and passions. If I were you, I would not be devastated because you will have the opportunities to make new relationships. In some colleges such as business schools, they will encourage you to enroll in some company that fits your major to earn experiences and accumulate relationships like potential-clients and partners.

Based on articles and stories about successful people, they all have in commons that is becoming independent from the early days and have remarkable communication skills. In conclusion, it is in my belief that college students should live away from home, for the reasons provided above.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 31, 2020   #2
Try to respond directly to the question being asked before you give your opinion. Do you agree or disagree?

I agree that undergraduate students will benefit from living away from their parents. That is because (state your 2 reasons).

Always be precise in your response because your TA score depends on it. Always format the rephrased section using the 3-5 sentence format for optimal scoring potential in that section.

You are not providing a discussion of a specific reason in your second paragraph. You are only outlining your discussion topics. That is not the same as developing your paragraph ideas and explanations. Use only 1 topic per paragraph and fully explain your support for that idea through personal opinion, examples, and supporting evidence within the discussion paragraph. Using your personal experience will help you score better as you will be using explanations that you can strongly support and clearly present to the reader.

The conclusion is also incorrect. Please provide a summary of the topic and reasons you discussed, along with a restatement of your response to the question. The concluding paragraph is used as a discussion reminder only. It should not be an open discussion presentation because that leaves you with an open ended presentation rather than a concluded discussion.
OP huyhoangnk01 2 / 5  
Aug 31, 2020   #3
@Holt Thankyou for your wonderful feedback, I have learnt a lot. I will remember all the things you have showed me. From Vietnam with love <3


Home / Writing Feedback / Is boarding at school ideal for students in contrast to staying at home with their parents?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳