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How many books have been read at Burnley by men and women?



Lola12 10 / 8  
Oct 16, 2016   #1
Ielts task 1 -difficulties in words usage and grammar

I think my essay sounds a bit repeatable at times - and also have several mistakes.

I will highly appreciate any kind of help in order to improve the essay and my overall writhing.

The graph provides information about the amount of books, which have been read by
men and women at Burnley library in the period between 2011 and 2014.

In 2011, fifty thousand books have been read by women, which was nearly twice as much compared to the men, who have read only around 24 000 in this period. In the next year, the gap between woman and men have gone up by 20 000. Even though, an increase in the read books by males was experienced , it was far smaller, than the grow observed in the females sector.

During 2013, after an enormous went up in the men interest in book, they were able to level the number scored by the women. In that year, males have read close to 50 000 books more than in the last year, which was a lot higher increase than the female one where the amount of read books exceeded by only 10 000. In the final year of the given period, the increasing trend in the males sector from the past year continued and by the end of the year, about 140 000 were read by them. The only decrease in the women number of read books was observed In 2014, where the amount of books diminished by 29 thousand, in order to became 70 00 or two times less than the men result.

At the end of the day, both genres experienced an increase in the amount of books read throughout the given period. Overall, the went up in the male sector was significantly higher than the respective increase in the female one.

Thuy Trang - / 2  
Oct 17, 2016   #2
I think my essay sounds a bit repeatable at times - and also have several mistakes.

I will highly appreciate any kind of help [i highly appreciate some kind of you in order to improve my essay and my overall writhing .writing

... at Burnley library in the period between between 2011 to 2014.

..., who read about 24 000 Bookin that time .

In the final year of the given period , increased trend in the males ...
... the books diminished by 29 thousand, 29000 in order to became ...

your grammar is not good
PHA2016 39 / 38  
Oct 17, 2016   #3
Hello Lola12,

just remind you to attach the picture or diagram

... by males was experienced ,[need conjuction] it was far smaller, than ...

In thatfollowing year, males have read ...
In the final year of the given period [need verb ], the increasing trend in the males ...
The only decrease in the women number decreasedof to read books which was observed In 2014...

hope these help


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