Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Essay - Building a statue/ monument to honor a famous person. Who would you choose? Ho Chi Min



vuthithuhienb1 1 / -  
Dec 24, 2015   #1
Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person in your country. Who would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

Country is as well as fabulous combination of beautiful seneries, it also was built up from contributions of numerous number of great people. In respect to honor a famous person in my country, I would prefer to support building a statue of Ho Chi Minh, who is called as big uncle of nation, Vietnam. He is one of the famous freedom fighters who fought for Vietnam's freedom and devoted all his life for our country's independence from fascism and imperialism.

First, he is one of the great freedom fighters who served for the country's independence. It will be a great honour to build his statue for his contribution to the country because he is the first person who started bringing a new political thought from Soviet to create a new political struggle in Việt Nam, which once was successful would help Vietnamese escape from both contemporary France fascism and underdeveloped feudal oppression and go up to a extremely inmaginary socialist. In addition, his unique, excellent and tremedous leadership qualities. Eventhough, Vietnam used to have many leaders who served for the country's independence, he had special place in the whole country and had special importance to receive honours from the people of the country and even from the whole world. Another thing to point out is his clever military art. He leaded many movements but the main one to notice is August Revolution, according to which the people fought against France colonialism and seized power by minimun damaged armied struggle. Which movement remained as an important milestone in independence movement of Việt Nam and seeded hopeness of achieving independence among vietnamese. He believed in the principle of socialist, which he followed throughout his life till he breathed his last. Due to his realistic approach, our country was able to free itself from the shackles of injustice and slavery.

Second, he is called as uncle of the nation, Vietnam as he devoted and contributed whole his genius ability to the nation. Ho Chi Minh is one of the biggest, deepest and greatest thinker in twenty century. More specifically, at this time of history, socialism theory was as not as popular as fascism or imperialism because of dominating western economic development; however, Ho Chi Minh soon realized that other socialism, none of these mentioned ways, Vietnamese would never break out of victim position of the ruling class. The fact shows its truth, his thought brought a huge success to Vietnamese nation. Additionally, Ho Chi Minh was an advocate by profession but he spent his entire life for his country and lived a most simple and disciplined life. He experienced same difficulties with people and always in the center of waving patriotism among people and armd forces.Last but not least, Ho Chi Minh is an fantastic, romantic and enthusiatic political poem, who did successfully turn his marvelous poetry into sharp weapon against the ruling class either encouraging patient and love of country among people. The superior example of his simplicity and determination to achieve anything in life is an inspiration for the generations to come.

In conclusion, Ho Chi Minh in my opinion truly deserves the respect of people and also the title given to him as the uncle of the Nation, for these reasons and more building a monument/statue in his memory can prove to be a mark of respect for the great personality

Ssakshijain 28 / 129  
Dec 24, 2015   #2
Hi Vuthithuhienb1

Here are my suggestions. I tried my best to help you, also I saw many spelling mistakes which I have corrected. Before submitting, check your spellings too :)

Country is as well as fabulous combination of beautiful sCeneries, it also was built up from contributions of numerous number of great people.

FirstLY, he is one of the great freedom fighterswho served for the country's independence. (one of the great sounds too general. May be you can refer one quality about him here. For example: He is one of the kind/humble/... right now I am not able to think of words but I guess I made you clear what I am trying to ask here as a quality. Replace the word "great" with some quality) .

It will be a great honour to build his statue for his contribution to the country because(You can directly start with reason here as you have already said about his great contribution in first line. No need to repeat the sentence. ) he is the first person who started bringing a new ....underdeveloped feudal oppression and go up to aN extremely inmaginaryunimaginary socialist.

In addition, his unique, excellent and tremendous TREMENDOUS leadership qualities. Even though, Vietnam used to have many leaders who served for the country's independence, he had special place in the whole country and had special importance to receive honours HONORS from the people of the country and even from the whole world. Another thing to point out is his clever military art.[i](you have mentioned about leadership above. Military art you can write in next paragraph. I would like to shift this sentence from here. As a part of leadership quality, another line goes good here. Take qualities one by one. He leaded many movements but the main one to notice is August Revolution, according to which the people fought against France colonialism and seized power by minimun MINIMUM damaged armied ARMED struggle Whichthat movement remained as an important milestone in independence movement of Việt Nam and seeded hopeness of achieving independence among vietnamese.(I am not able to understand this part. ) [/i]

Good luck :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay - Building a statue/ monument to honor a famous person. Who would you choose? Ho Chi Min
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳