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Business & money - recruiting workers important for a company (ielts task 2)

aviniwirastri [Contributor] 10 / 35 11  
Apr 6, 2016   #1
Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ielts task 2

Hiring someone to work in a company is not an easy task to do, especially for human resource department in certain company. Employers should hire innovative and independent workers with an expectation that they might bring the company developed by their idea, however they should think about hiring employees who have good teamwork and obey instruction as well. It is rare to have a worker equipped those two aspects mentioned. In this case, the author of a company needs to set up a standard in accepting an employee.

Innovative and independent workers have a wide view of work and things they have done. It can be caused by either their experience or their intelligence. Additionally, most of them are not developed in teamwork skill. To illustrate, a smart worker with high education and a lot of experiences has many creative ideas that are anti-mainstream. He usually does something inappropriate with other workers, even the policy of the company. But sometimes he is admittedly able to bring the company developed. It means that creative workers tend to work independently, because no one is brave to take a risk like them. It is not always good because a company has a set of procedures to be obeyed, and a breakthrough is not always successful.

In another side, when employers hire workers with a good teamwork and submissive, they need to ensure that policies and programs they have made are full of consideration. it is good to have this type of workers in order to running an order well, but Once the author make a mistake, no employee will predict it. A harm is not easily detected. For example, a manager of marketing is negligent to make a decision in promotion programs, his men will go with the instruction. It means that a failure is waiting if there is no critical person - the creative one who always thinks before obeying a policy. by contrast, having too many independent workers is not suggested.

To reiterate, i believe that a standard of hiring a worker should be well-established. Companies should recognize what kind a person they are. thus, employers can put them on proper departments, or, at least the number of both kinds of workers is balance. However, employers are fully-authorized, so they have a right and consideration in what kind of workers are needed in their company.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 6, 2016   #2
Hi Wira, I would like to enhance your essay by suggesting a few corrections.

- for the human resource
- department in ac certain company.
- havehas a good teamwork
- and obeyfollows instructions as well.
- equipped with thesethose two

- arehave not developed
- ina teamwork skill.
- higher education
- has manya lot of creative
- But sometimes he is admittedlyHe needs to be - able to bring the company developedinto its full potential .
- to be obeyedobserved ,
- and a breakthrough isthe results are not always successful.

Wira, I suggest further study, practice and read English literatures or anything English, this will help you come up with better writing article.
bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 7, 2016   #3
Hi Avini, I have read your writing IELTS task 2, I personally view that you wrote well-organize. Also, it is extremely few repetitive words. It can increase your band score, especially in lexical resource. Besides, although there are some grammatical errors, I think that it is acceptable. On the other hand, I would suggest you to take about simple matter such capital word. It is also very crucial in IELTS and reduce your score. Let me check your mistake about that.

it is good to

you should concern on using capital letter. Even though it is small mistake, you have to avoid small mistake.

but Once

it will be better you alter 'but' with 'yet'. This is because it is informal.

i believe that a st

In English, word 'I' must be written by capital letter.

thus, employers

Good luck Avini, I am waiting for your next writing. Thank you
Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 7, 2016   #4
Hii writer,
Here are some suggestion for you:

... either their experience or their intelligence

because no one is brave to take a risk like themthey do

It is not always goodappropriate , because aevery company has a set of procedures toshould be obeyed ==> better we use "should", because it a must, and there is a punishment or cosequence
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 11, 2016   #5
HI Wira, I was looking forward to review you revised essay but it seems as though your taking some time, this is absolutely fine, however, if you have completed your revision, we would love read it here on EF so we can help you further.

In addition to this, while your revising your essay, mind the language rules, note the given points suggested by EF contributors, they help a lot in coming up with a well written essay, but then again this is just a suggestion and what matters in the end is your own decision on how to approach this prompt.

Moreover, mind the words that you associate in your essay, make sure that they do not only depict what your idea want to tell but they're also in the proper placement or input in the sentence, more so in the paragraph. One of the most tricky process in an essay is being able to tell where to place the idea, if it is in the introduction, the body or the final paragraph, so you have to be very careful.

I hope to read the revised essay soon and I wish you the best of luck.

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