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Should Businesses Only Concentrate to Make Much Money?


Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Nov 2, 2016   #1
The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

Many workers decide to resign from their job and start to begin business. They make a business to get much money. Focus on making money is the way to produce it largely. I tend to disagree due to there are some things that businessperson should notice too.

Many businesses are in the good trading and merits trading that residents need it. That it is why business is one of the best ways to produce much money. How to make much money by business? Since we know that business is about compete to sell something and the product that are liked and needed by many people. Therefore, owner must improve the quality of the product. They have to make familiar own-label product to make consumers easy to remember. They should make the product unique than others. So, it will improve the profit of them.

Besides, owner also must notice the other side. Because focus on only making money will make the entrepreneurs negligence about the construction of business. Improving the quality of employees is an example. It must be paid more attention by entrepreneur. Since making much money from the quality of product, sales cannot exist without contribution of good and loyal workers. Hence, businessman must treat their labors well. The labors must get appropriate welfare.

In conclusion, profit is the focus of entrepreneurs that will be gotten by selling high quality product and unique brand. However, they must take care their labors 'improvement too for supporting of product manufacturing, promoting, and selling (distributing).

Lola12 10 / 9  
Nov 2, 2016   #2
start to begin business - strike out a new business company/ start a new business - i am not very confident with the first phrase.

to get much money. -- in order to earn a lot of money/ to make huge profits

I tend to disagree due tothe fact , there are some things ... -this sentence doesn't sound very clear

know that business is about compete to sell something and the product
-- business is about competing to sell goods to your customers and crating products, that are both liked and needed by huge amount of people.

to make consumers easy to remember - to make it more memorizable for their customers.

, owners also must notice...
Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Nov 2, 2016   #3
Hello, Anna94 :)
Here are my suggestions for you.

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

... and start to begin a business with the aim toThey make a business to get much money.
I tend to disagree to this initiative issuedue to there are some things that business person should notice too.

It is essential to ensure the using of a certain noun, either uncountable or countable noun, consistently [e.q business].
I could not get the point of "there are some things that business person should notice too".
It would be better if you mention those risks directly, and avoid using "things". This is because this word is ambiguous.
Lastly, remind that if you use "due to / because of" + noun phrase, while "because/since/once" is followed by subject + verb.


Anna, having read the entire essay, I think you have misunderstood the prompt since it asked for "is money the only thing to be focused on the business?"

If you agree to this, why? You do not need to explain how to make much money by having unique products or good labors
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 3, 2016   #4
hai anna
I will give you additional advice for your essay
hope it helps

... job and start to begin business. They makes a business to ...
Focus on makingearnings money is the way ...
... some things that businesspersonbusinessman should notice too.

Many businesses are in the good trading ...
How to make much money by business?<< avoid using questionnaire

... business is about competecompeting to sell something ...
They have to make a familiar own-label ...

Besides, owner also must notice the other side.
Since makingearning much money from ...

In conclusion, profit is the focusaims of entrepreneurs that ...

thanks
break a leg
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Nov 3, 2016   #5
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

They have to make familiar own-label product to ... -->
They have to promote their own-label product as it would increase the number of consumers. Thus, it will improve the profit of them by this way.

Besides, owner also must notice the other side. Because focus ...-->
Besides, owner also must notice the other factors can be influenced as focus on only earning money will make the entrepreneurs negligence about the construction of business.

Improving the quality of employees is an example.-->
For example is improving the quality of employees for getting more income.

Since earning much money from ...
... treat their labors well and give the appropriate welfare .

Thanks
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 3, 2016   #6
Hello Anna!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

I think there is a missunderstanding of your task.
The prompt
->The purpose of businesses is (...) Do you agree or disagree?

...Therefore, owner must improve the quality [...] So, it will improve the profit of them.

Look at your body 1, it is not relate with the keyword. You should say why the businesses should concentrate to make money. It is not about the way to make money.

Look at example below:
Making money is the main part of what businesses do. They have to make profit to make their effort still stand out. Businesses also have to make income on what they produce so that the production processes do not stop.

Hope it helps you :)
Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Nov 3, 2016   #7
Hallo anna.. here my suggestion about your essay..

Many workers decide to resign from their job and start to begin business. They make a business to get much money. Focus on making money is the way to produce it largely. I tend to disagree due to there are some things that businessperson should notice too.

I think you did not achieve your task.. you did not answer the question. The question is

The purpose of businesses (...) Do you agree or disagree?

So you should focus only in the purpose businesses to make money not about why people resign from job and start business. Let me to give you an example

High income and get money as much as possible is the main aim when conduct business. I tend to disagree with this notion because there are some things that businessperson should notice too.

Good luck!
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 3, 2016   #8
hai anna, here are my suggestions for your essay

... business is about competecompeting to sell something ...

Therefore, the owner must improve ...
you have to make the owner spesific, right?

... own-label product so thatto makeconsumers easy to remember.

So, it will improve thetheir profit of them.

... promoting, and selling (distributing).
actually, selling is quite different from distributing you have to divide it.


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