Cable News Ratings - daily viewings of the Channel One

A breakdown of figure for daily viewing Chanel (unit in million viewers per day) one news based on 4 different times in a day during a year. Overall, it can be seen that the number of viewer in three different in a day stand at not the same point in January while news that on screen in 11 pm start to be viewed by people in Malaysia suddenly it show the most dramatic increase.

6 pm is the most favourite time to watch news in January while number of people who watch news in 9.30 pm are 3. In the next two month, the number of viewer in 6 pm fall at about 4, but it still became the higher number viewers in 1 pm tent to stable by previous month. In May, the number of people who tend to watch news in 6 pm and 9.30 pm illustrate the close number while 1 pm show the lowest viewers.

Meanwhile, in August both of viewers in 6 pm and 9.30 pm decrease while the number of viewers in 11 pm incline sharply and peak at 4. Furthermore in December most people tent to watch news in 1 pm show quite same point with previous period, and 11 pm is the most unpopular time to watch news. (216w)

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Hi Miss Pramudia.
I am gonna give you a few suggestions to improve your writing.


Where is your main verb?. Be careful of sentence fragments.
A BREAKDOWN OF FIGURES REPRESENTING THE NUMBER OF VIEWERS WATCHING NEWS ON CHANNEL ONE BASED ON 4 DIFFERENT TIMES A DAY DURING A YEAR IS REVEALED IN THE LINE GRAPH


Avoid hackneyed sentence because it will seem as meaningless sentences.
This is my offering overview as the alternative.
OVERALL, IT CAN OBVIOUSLY SEEN THAT CHANNEL ONE HAD DIVIDED NEWS PROGRAMS INTO THREE TIMES PER DAY, BUT THE TELEVISION CHANNEL HAD HAD A POLICY TO ADD BROADCASTING THE NEWS AT 11 PM SINCE 1ST MAY. MOREOVER, THE VIEWERS HAD TENDED TO WATCH NEWS AT 6 PM.

6 pm is the most favourite time(You should give detailed information about its number) to watch news in January while THE number of people (...) are 3(Avoid multi-interpretation so that you are supposed to write its quantity clearly).

... 6 pm fall at about 4 million viewers , but it still became ...
In May, the number of people (...) illustrate the close number while 1 pm show the lowest viewers.(Please, rewrite this because readers difficult to get the point)

Meanwhile, in August both ofviewers in 6 pm and 9.30 pm decrease(Where are the detailed informations?. This is the body paragraph so that you should show the deatiled data) while the number of ...

Please, review my notes.
Keep Writing
GOOD LUCK

Hello Pram, I will try give my correction for you

three differentsbecause is plural "three differents"

it shows the most dramatic increase because is singular "it"

... while 1 pm shows the lowest viewers because is singular "it"

thank you