salary for entertainers
Some feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sport stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid ?
Today, the ostentatious manner of many celebrities in the entertainment industry can easily appeal to the tastes of both young and old. While many people opine that these entertainers are just simply overpaid and that the money they receive is not commensurate with their talents and efforts, I totally disagree with this view. This essay will discuss why I think film stars, pop singers, or sports stars deserve their incomes and then I will describe others jobs that should also be highly paid in the society.
The main reason why I believe renowned entertainers' salaries are not exaggerated is that they have to expend assiduous efforts in exchange of their reputation. In pursuance of having the best performances, actors or athletes may need to undergo hard, even rigorous, trainings, which requires huge amount of time and energy spent. As a result, they would lose quality time for themselves as well as with their families due to their tight schedules of shooting or training, which are considered to be necessary to finally please their directors and audiences. For example, actor Christian Bale had to lose over 30 kilograms during his strict trainings in order to perfectly suite character 'patient' in the movie The Machinist before raised his weight again to 100 kilograms in the movie Batman begins. In addition, illustrious entertainers do not earn disproportionately lucrative income because audiences are people who pay money to see their performances and contribute to their high salary. If a large number of fans are willing to pay to see their favorite celebrity, it would be understandable that those famous ones will gain tremendous amount of money.
From my perspective, there are other occupations that should receive higher salary to truly reflect the dedication and efforts. Firstly, doctors should be paid more because of the importance of their work. This is because since they are those who can save people's lives and help patients escape form critical condition, giving them hope, doctors should be rewarded for their great contribution. Secondly, as their job is to educate the youth and impart knowledge upon them in their life, teachers ought to have higher income compared to other occupations. Furthermore, teaching plays a pivotal role in the development of a country by educating the young generation who in turn become the leader of the country, which makes teachers deserve a higher social standing as well as higher income.
In conclusion, I reiterate my strong belief that today entertainers are not overpaid as they have to put in hard efforts, and their works in return are totally paid by loyal audiences. Additionally, doctors and teachers are two of other types of jobs that need to earn significantly larger salaries for not only their devotion but also their role as a cornerstone of the development of a society.
This is Ielts essay in task 2 Writing. Hope to receive your feedbacks!
Thank you!@Thangnguyen315
Welcome again. Here is my feedback for this specific work.
Your over-explanation can negatively affect the way that you introduce information. Try to stick with more relevant content. Omit what's unnecessary. Once you're able to clear these out, I assure you that your writing will appear to be a lot more versatile as you will have details that are more softly focused on what you actually need to have in the essay. For example, the introductory paragraph's first two lines are too heavy in a way that you could have written them a lot more delicately and shortly. You don't need to overtly explain everything from the first paragraph, considering the fact that you are supposed to do that in the body paragraphs.
With regards to the rest of the writing, try your best to not add too much unnecessary parts in the body paragraphs themselves. Notice how the second paragraph had an entire three lines dedicated to Christian Bale when you could have shortened this to just one. By cutting down on excessive details that don't really add a lot to your writing, you can focus a lot more on important angles in the conclusion that are noticeably not giving sufficient information to here.
