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Ielts: The cement and concrete making process


MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jun 14, 2013   #1
The given diagrams provide an overview of the production of cement from available devices as well as how cement is used to manufacture concrete for construction purpose.

Overall, the cement production involves various stages from the beginning to ultimate product. Likewise, there are a number of prerequisites needed in the making of concrete.

With regard to the first diagram, limestone and clay are initially crushed by a crusher to form powder. Subsequently powder is then mixed prior to being carried into a rotating heater. In this step, a fire is required with the aim of guaranteeing heating. After that, the materials are then grounded to be converted into cement prior to packaging in bags.

Once produced, cement is one of the five inputs of producing concrete, accounting for 15% of the total mixture. Gravel, simultaneously, takes up the highest proportion with 50%. Besides, water and sand constitute the remaining 10% and 25%, respectively. Then a concrete mixer running clockwise is responsible for manufacturing final concrete from five aforementioned elements.



dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 15, 2013   #2
The given diagrams provide an overview of the production of cement from available devices as well as how cement is used to manufacture concrete for construction purpose.

... It's always better to describe the diagrams separately;
The first diagram provides an overview of the process of cement production. It further illustrates the raw materials and machinery used in the process. The second diagram illustrates the concrete production with the proportions of the raw material used for mixing concrete.

Overall, the cement production involves various stages from the beginning to ultimate product .

... it is implied.
DHuong 2 / 3  
Jun 15, 2013   #5
five aforementioned elements -> I think "five aforesaid elements" is much better.
Your essay is good.
gangadhar 3 / 3  
Jun 16, 2013   #6
your essay is good
OP MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jun 17, 2013   #7
Thank you, DHuong and gangadhar!
dragosp 2 / 2  
Jun 17, 2013   #8
With regard to the first diagram, limestone and clay are initially crushed by a crusher to form powder

You could also use another structure, for example " During the first stage of the process, limestone and clay are crushed by a crusher to create powder"
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jun 24, 2013   #10
With regard to the first diagram, limestone and clay are initially crushed by a crusher to formthe powder.

Subsequently powder is then mixed prior to being carried into a rotating heater.

...."subsequently" makes " then" redundant. You can either take off "then" or;
The powder is then goes through the mixing process prior to being carried into the rotating heater.

In this step, a fire is required with the aim of guaranteeing heating.

.... this information is not presented by the graph.... I guess you need to talk about things that are more obvious.
Anyway, you have detailed out the process very cleverly :)
OP MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jun 24, 2013   #11
this information is not presented by the graph.... I guess you need to talk about things that are more obvious.

I see. I guessed I could add a sentence about the fire to supplement the preceded sentence.
Thank you for your recommendations, Pahan!


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