Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


How cement is made? Which materials are used in the manufacturing process?


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Nov 21, 2016   #1
WRITING TASK 1 : How cement is used to produce concrete

The diagram shows the information about the stages in the cement to use for concrete production. Overall, the process was divided into 2 ways people made linear process. The first step was put raw materials and end results in concrete mixer.

The first stage of cement production was insert the limestone and clay into the crusher until became powder. Afterwards, the powder passed through the mixer for several minutes. Next, it passed the small pipe. Moreover, the combination of rotating heater and heat will produce source of cement. Another steps, the material was grinded by grinder and can produce cement. In the end, the cement was packed in the bags and can continue to the another steps.

Turning to the concrete production, the measure about the several materials such as the cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%) and gravel (50%) was included in concrete mixer. More broadly, the machine will mix the materials and the it will produce the concrete.



mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 21, 2016   #2
Dear Andika, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!...

the process wasisdivideddividing into 2 ways people ...

The first step was putis puttingseveral raw materials and ...

... cement production wasis that inserts the limestone and (...) until becameit becomes powder.

...the powder passedpasses through the mixer ...

Next, it passedpasses the small pipe.

Another steps, the material wasis grinded by grinder ...

In the end, the cement wasis packed in the bags and ...

...wasis included in concrete mixer.

Regards
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Hello, let me give my correction for you

results in the concrete mixer (the word "concrete mixer" need an article "the")

... cement production was insertinserted (because the both of was and insert are verbs, and two verbs must be separated by connector)

Afterwardsafterward , the powder

Another steps step, ("another" is indicate the singular form)

will produce the source of cement.

the material was grindedground by grinder (ground is verb 3 of grind not grinded)

the it will produce the concrete

thank you
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 23, 2016   #4
Hi Andika..
here are a few corrections for your writing task 1. Hopefully, those can help you to improve your skill.


The diagram shows the information about the stages in the cement to use for concrete production

If you mentioned that the diagrams only describe producing cement, it would seem you review partially. You should wrote
THE DIAGRAMS ILLUSTRATE A WAY TO PRODUCE CEMENT AND HOW COMPOSITION OF THE CEMENT AND OTHER MATERIALS TO MAKE CONCRETE.

Overall, the process was divided into 2 ways people made linear process.

I have not got the point of what you meant. You might be gonna say
OVERALL, THE PROCESS WAS DIVIDED INTO 2 WAYS TO PRODUCE THE HIGH QUALITY CONCRETE.

... of cement production was insert(you should use the present tense because you explained the fact) IS MIXING the limestone (...) until became BECOMING powder.
... passed through the MACHINE OF mixer for several minutes. Next, PRIOR TO it passed the small pipe.
... will produce sourceS of cement. Another steps, IS THAT the material was IS grinded by grinder and can produce IS PRODUCED IN THE FORM OF THE cement. In the end, the cement was IS packed in the bags and can continue to the another steps. READY TO BE TRANSPORTED.

... and gravel (50%) was ARE included BLENDED in concrete THE mixer OF CONCRETE.
... will mix the ALL materials and the it will produce the concrete.


Home / Writing Feedback / How cement is made? Which materials are used in the manufacturing process?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳