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Cement manufacturing process and produce concrete from cement



kurniarahmi 6 / 5  
Jun 19, 2016   #1
The diagrams illustrate the cement making process and the type of equipment and materials used to produce the cement and the way of using cement to produce concrete. Overall, the steps of making cement are more complicated and require advanced machinery while concrete production needs right proportion in simpler machine.

Starting with the first diagram, cement is produced by combine raw materials such as limestone, clay, and processed on an instrument called a crusher. Then, they are all mixed together and entered into a rotating heater. As in the heating tube rotates, heat is introduced from the end of tube before the mixture is really down to the grinder. Futhermore, after all the systematic process finished, the mixture turned into some cement which is then packed into bags.

Meanwhile, for the second diagram, the production of concrete needs four main elements with 15 percent cement, 10 percent water, proportion of sand and gravel by 25% and 50% respectively. These materials are mixed together in a large concrete mixer which aims to produce concrete used in buildings.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Jun 19, 2016   #2
Rahmi, complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

The diagrams illustrate... (1st sentence)
The values are measured... (2nd sentence)
Overall, it can be seen that, the steps of making.. (3rd sentence)

The second body of your essay also has the same problem. If you don't serve up the information from the chart in the proper way within the essay, you will badly damage your final grade in the essay. I suggest that you approach the second body in the following manner:

Meanwhile, for the second diagram... (1st sentence)
Sand and gravel... (2nd sentence) (I suggest to separate this one because it consists of shop-listing. Too many data in a single paragraph)
These materials are mixed... (3rd sentence)


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