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TOEFL ESSAY - center for business vs agriculture (farming) research choice


ilaha 2 / 2  
Jun 26, 2014   #1
A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.

There are some developing countries that they need new invents for their effectively improving. My country is also a developing country. There are some fields of it that need very big researches. If there will be a university that wants to improve a research center in my country I would recommend a agriculture research center for my country. I have some reasons for it.

Firstly, my country is an agriculture country. It has enough resources for it. I mean resources of climate, so many workers and enough ground that required for successful agriculture development. Moreover there are already enough farms but they don't work very well. They can't product enough goods because of they haven't working techniques. They can't manage affects of climate; they haven't successful watering techniques and so on. Therefore it needs a research center which will research and gives some effectively techniques for improving this field.

Secondly, there are more opportunities that can also cause improving of business. For example, if it improves it will need some other companies that can support it with professional workers, with machines, and can transfer, can keep and can sell goods. Moreover, after improving agriculture sector employees of this sector will cause rising of demand and it will cause improving other fields and there will appear new business opportunities.

As a conclusion if there will be a university which wants to develop a research center in my country I would offer an agriculture research center. Because there are more opportunities to improve this field and if it improves it will cause improving business in the country.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jun 27, 2014   #2
this intro needs improvement. Let me give a try:
University provides students facilities to study and to research. Some people believe that university should have a center for business research while others say that a center for research in agriculture is more important. Both views have merits and demerits. In my view, fund for infrastructure and educational programs helps students conduct more research on those subjects

Because there are more opportunities to improve this field and if it improves it will cause improving business in the country.

You need to rewrite this area. It contains a bad grammar
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 18, 2014   #3
I agree with eddies .... your intro needs improvement. I think you better introduce the prompt itself. In this case your prompt talks of a more specific issue and I think you should behave within that scope. This is what I suggest;

A university plans to develop a new research center in your country.

Research studies play an important role in the development of a country. Recently, one of the universities has announced its plan of setting up a research center in my country and some sections of our society wants this center to be a business research center. However, the other people wish it to be planned for agriculture research studies. In my personal view, I too would favor a research center for agriculture for my country because it has a more agro-based economy.


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