IELTS Writing task 2: Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared

the economic situation of the family has a decisive impact on children's development

Prompt: Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parent. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

It is no doubt that the economic family status plays a tremendous role in teenager's development. Some people reckon that children who grow up in underprivileged family can easily tackle adult problems than others who mature in well-off family. From my point of view, I do agree with this statement.

On the one hand, a child brought up in impoverished condition will be likely to solve the adult problems with less difficulty. Initially, in terms of financial problem, a child of poor family can fully acknowledge the value of money as he or she has to live a life with barest minimum and as a result, they find it quite easy to overcome financial challenges when they become adult. In contrast, the children in wealthy families are born with silver in their mouth and they may be completely ignorant of the value of money as they are fully provided with everything when they were young and they may expect the same situation in adulthood. Moreover, a poor youngster suffered from fluctuation can gain a multitude of experience, then they can learn from it and become more confident when facing the same trouble in the future.

On the other hand, children born in prosperous condition are better prepared with adult problems. Firstly, wealthy parents may pay more money for their sons or daughters to attend life skill classes, which is a luxury thing with needy families. As those kids can be exposed to practical situations that they may have to face when become adult, they may have the experience to deal with it in reality. In addition, when considering the field related to money, a wealthy child can be well trained by a parent who himself has a wide knowledge of it. Such parents themselves know financial management better and can pass on those skills to their next generation.

To conclude, the economic situation of the family has a decisive impact on children's development. I do still believe that a child in poor family will be better prepared with adult trouble when compared to the child born in wealthy family.

I think you should watch out for your article: "in a well-off family", "a child of a poor family", "with the barest", "in a prosperous condition", "in a wealthy family"

also verb form: "when becomiing adult"

I would like to correct some mistakes: the barrest minimum , in underprivileged families, financial problems, youngster who suffered from

@Myna
Thank you for correcting my silly mistakes :) How about my idea, can you also give me some feedbacks? I'd love to hear!

You cannot simply say "I do agree" in an extent essay. You need to give a measurement with the agreement. Measurement words include strongly, fully, wholly, greatly, and totally, to name but a few measurement words you could use in reference to the extent requirement. Aside from that problem though, there is a much bigger one existing in the essay. You have a contradiction of opinions in the presentation. Note the following differences that will result in a confusing presentation and tell the examiner that you were undecided about how to really respond to the essay.

Question Response: ... children who grow up in underprivileged ... in well-off family. I do agree with this statement.
Par. 2: a child brought up in impoverished condition will be likely to solve the adult problems with less difficulty
Par. 3: children born in prosperous condition are better prepared with adult problems

You first said that the poor kids are better prepared for adulthood. Then you also said the rich kids can better deal with adult problems. So, which is your real response? There is a sense of your essay not really responding to the question posed with proper justifications. Additionally, you turned a straightforward single opinion essay into a compare and contrast essay, which was not the original discussion instruction. So you can see why this essay will have a difficult time achieving a passing score. You did not respond properly to the question. You did not properly justify your response, and you have several grammatical issues with your presentation as well. All of which will combine to prevent you from passing this test.