Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Children should do organized activities or be free in their free time.



vantotet 1 / -  
Aug 3, 2023   #1
Whilst many people think that children should be given the freedom to play whatever they want in their leisure time for the sake of creativity, I believe that they should do prearranged activities to develop specific skills they lack.

On the one hand, when given the right to choose whatever they want to play in their free time, their level of creativity will be maximized. For example, in a Montessori kindergarten, the teachers usually give the whole autonomy for their students to choose the Montessori toys or objects they prefer. Hence, the pupils can use their own imagination to create something stunning and unique, which is obviously an excellent way to enhance creativity, an essential character in the latter stage of their lives. Moreover, the fact that the students are not limited to a boundary pushes their creativity to the maximum, proving to increase the chance of future success significantly.

However, it is believed that children can thrive more through organized activities. This means that at a certain age, the child needs to master a skill; therefore, if he is not given enough resources to practice that, he will fall behind his peer. When a child reaches two years old, for instance, he should speak primary words such as daddy and mommy or distinguish the colors or farm animals. Without organized activities to train the child how to pronounce these words or color and animal flashcards, he could not possess these fundamental skills by himself, no matter how hard he wants to try. For all the reasons I mentioned above, for educational purposes, organized activities trump the freedom to choose what they want to do in their spare time.

In conclusion, although creativity may be improved while children can choose what they can do in their spare time, parents or instructors should organize some educational activities in order to train them in the skills they need.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Aug 8, 2023   #2
There is a problem with the prompt restatement. You did not accurately restate both public opinions, standing aside from your own personal opinion. Remember that you are being asked about which opinion you agree with. That indicates that the reader must be informed about both public perceptions prior to you stating your point of view. While you did inform about your own opinion, you did not offer a thesis statement to help the reader quickly understand the basis of your opinion. You did not outline the 2 supporting reasons in this case. You cannot expect high marks for your preliminary score in this case.

You are contradicting your own opinion in the discussion. You are giving valid reasons for both points of view, which is confusing to the examiner. You no longer have a clear writer's opinion presented. You have pushed both your C+C and GRA scores to failing marks because of the lack of single opinion support presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / Children should do organized activities or be free in their free time.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳