Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past.



Diahkn93 6 / 9  
Apr 27, 2017   #1

Children' duties issue



Today world has changed and also people opinion. Children became global main topic and their right is one of crucial part who required to be protected. About last centuries many children under age force to work to fulfill family needs but now role was switched. This condition created both brought negative effect even though they also have positive impact.

When we talk about human right, the children right also noteworthy. This issue brings huge scale influence for some people worldwide. Mostly the supporter experience the worse situation when children life or right being less noticeable. When they turn out becoming parents they don't want lass situation repeated for their children. For example during World War II, all children range 9 - 15 forced to join the army and become soldier in order to help fighting this situation also happen in Indonesia when Indonesia being Colonized in year before 1945. But positively they can be more mature and independent getting good adaptation ability also respectfully their life.

However, children turn out to be main concern of world. UNICEF is worldwide organization has been created with purpose to protect children freedom and right. Everything about children will be handle by UNICEF, exploiting in one of biggest cases globally but they accomplish in good result by flipping parents interpretation the way treat their child. Early age is right moment to create a lot of happy memories the moment can plenty time for playing and hanging with their friends. Based on recent survey, Indonesia's children are happiest children compare to others countries such as Nigeria, Israel and USA. As Indonesian I put a lot times to observe children condition in my own country parenting role is important to control the children. Mostly they take out the responsibility set children free to do anything they want. Sadly that treatment can lead to bad behavior also children become lazy, relying to their parents not independent.

To conclude this issue, the role of parent is very crucial. Childhood is perfect time to character build with right proportion of responsibility make children commit oneself, it also help them to face the future world but don't forget they need a lot of support and love its principle things to create a next good person.

Tai 2 / 2  
Apr 29, 2017   #2
Hi, I like your idea. However, you should write "one of the" + Noun (plural) in your first paragraph. Plus, "both" needs to go with "and".

Change some . and , because Some of the sentences lack ",".


Home / Writing Feedback / Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳