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IELTS Task 2- children spend hours every day on their smartphones



g1131692 1 / -  
Jan 17, 2024   #1
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.
Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.



Nowadays, smartphones become a major part of daily life of teenagers, which occupy most of their time. It may results from the comprehensive function of smartphones, attracting children to stick to the phone. Moreover, they use phones as social tools to interact with friends. From my perspective, I believe it has negative impacts on children's either mental or physical development.

As technology keeps upgrading, we can do almost everything through mobile phones, which make children spend plenty of their leisure time on them. For example, mobile games not only have a wide range of catagories but also make progression on their visual, sound effects, and complexity. Therefore, those games can satisfy children's curiosity and desire of chasing excitement. Moreover, an increasing number of widespread social media becomes an indisposible part of life, especially for children, who are still seeking for sense of belonging from their friends. They are more likely to stay in touch with friends and update their latest life all the time, which makes them focus their phones every moment.

Because of this phenomenum, teenagers sometimes spend too much time on smartphones, leading to unhealthy lifestyle and massive unaccurate information input. Attracted by the social media and entertainment applications on phones, they prefer to stay in house using their electronic devices rather than going outside. If children are lack of exercise and exposure to the sunshine, it will inhibit their growth and be detrimental to their health, especially their vision. In addition, lots of information can be found due to the convenient searching engine. However, children may not be mature enough to identify the accuracy of information they saw, which may misguide them and give them the wrong knowledge.

In conclusion, children may be intrigued to the social media or mobile games and spend lots of time on their smarphones. Nevertheless, if children are too addicted to the visual world, they may less their time spent on outdoor activities and even get wrong information if they don't identify it well.

To anyone who is willing to give me feedbacks, thank you so much!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15238  
Jan 20, 2024   #2
While the English language used in the presentation is not perfect, it is acceptable enough to receive good GRA and C+C scores. That is because the intent of the writer remains clear even as the writing is imperfect. While there will be GRA reduced scores, confusion will not be one of the reasons for the score reduction as the ideas are clear to the reader. It would be good for the student to focus on better developing his English sentences. Right now, he is above the beginner level, but a few steps below that of an intermediate English writer. By focusing on his vocabulary usage and proper sentence structuring, he should manage to achieve a smoother written presentation.


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