Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Children's success depends on their parents



navy8303 1 / -  
Nov 22, 2021   #1
Topic:
People say that a child's success is dependent on the way parents bring them up.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



It is indisputable that family plays a crucial role for each person. Some argue that the pedagogy of parents determines the advancement of children. I strongly agree with this viewpoint for the following reasons.

To begin with, one of the most substantial parts of a child's success is their parenting. Notably, children emulate their parents' habits, whether positive or negative. So, if the parent has good manners and habits like reading books, their children will acquire these good things and have a higher percentage of success. On the contrary, children growing up in needy families and poorly educated parents will also be adversely affected. Researched by the Ministry of Public Security for 2,000 students in reformatory schools, about 50% of cases had their parents' difficult childhoods. Therefore, children are greatly influenced by how their parents nurture them.

Personal will and the learning environment, on the other hand, partly influence a child's growth. There have been many successful entrepreneurs from low-income backgrounds. For instance, Billionaire Jack Ma had a deprived childhood before founding Alibaba - China's leading electronics group thanks to his strong will. In addition, a healthy learning environment creates favorable conditions for the development of children. Children who receive a quality education will have their minds shaped and have clear career goals for the future.

To conclude, social factors such as school or circle of friends partly contribute to the future success of young people. However, if children are adequately cared for by their parents, both emotionally and physically, they will grow up to be more self-sufficient and possess the right attitude. As a result, they will be able to expand further in the future.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Nov 23, 2021   #2
for the following reasons.

To provide a stronger thesis statement. Indicate your agreement with a sense of reasoning. Rather than saying "for the following reasons", it is better to say "based on my beliefs that (reason 1) and (reason 2). These will be further explained below. " Such a representation accomplishes 2 things.

- It outlines the discussion topics for the 2 reasoning paragraphs
- It clearly accomplishes the task requirement through a thorough presentation of your opinion and opinion basis. The latter being an extra scoring cosnideration for the TA score whenever indicated by the writer in his opinion statement.

Researched by the Ministry of Public Security

Since the instruction is for the writer to use personal knowledge or publicly known opinion, it is best not to indicated "reasearch by" as this means you are not sharing public information. Simply stating that, "the Ministy of Public Security has said" informs the examiner that this is publicly known opinion, even it is actually otherwise. The framing of a sentence also helps to add or lessen the score, based on the discussion evidence requirements. It is all a matter of sentence structuring, when wanting to indicate a piee of public information.

Personal will and the learning environment, on the other hand, partly influence a child's growth.

This opinion will not receive a score and the word count will be deducted from the overall number as this part contradicts your personal opinion as indicated in the thesis statement. Being a single opinion essay, your ability to defend your opinion based on 2 valid opinions will be the basis for your C+C score. Suddenly changing your opinion will result in score deductions instead.


Home / Writing Feedback / Children's success depends on their parents
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳