IELTS 2: Should children be taught by their parents in the home or by their teacher in the school?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People have different perspectives about whether children should be taught by their parents in the home or their teacher in the school to be good citizens in society. Whereas teachers give theory about being good in the community, I believe that their parents also become role model to practice their children. Therefore, position of teachers and parents are essensial to develop children.

On the one hand, the teachers of children in the school teach theory which can be used to be good citizens because it looks up important to understand why people must have good action in the community. For example, when childern have good attitude, they can understand how to treat others well. With this reason, understanding about theory of good attitude is important to support being children of good attitude in the long term.

On the other hand, the parents who have role to show their children are more essensial because they can teach through practice. And then, it can give more effect to obtain many friends. I take my friend as example, he who is taught by his parents about good attitude can get more friends in his community and be role model to others. As the result, the parents can influence their children to have good attitude in the society.

In conclusion, I can understand why the teachers give theory and parents give practice to children because it makes up to support each others. While they understand how to treat other people, they also can get friend and can become role model in the community. So, both of them complete each other to make golden people in the society.

The first sentence in this presentation contains cut and paste information from the original presentation that will lead to a deduction based on the writer's inability to use alternative word references to create the thought presentation. The writer also creates a misrepresentation of the source of information by referencing that teachers and parents have presented these opinions when the opposite is true. There were no references to these groups so the premise of the discussion is now incorrect. So this will add to the task accuracy deductions of the exam taker. The writer's opinion is also confusing because he does not clearly represent which of the 2 opinions he actually supports.

Response format wise the writer also confuses the discussion presentation since he does not use the correct discussion format for the presentation. The correct format is:

Public opinion + explanation of supporting reasons + Writer's opinion (support or non-support) = Completely developed discussion paragraph

The biggest mistake of this essay is that the writer explains his personal opinion in the concluding statement. As a task 2 essay, the writer's opinion cannot be presented in the last paragraph since that should only be recapitulating on the previous discussion points. The writer created an open ended essay that wil result in an automatic failing score due to the lack of proper concluding considerations in the final paragraph presentation. Next time, just summarize the previous discussion points. That way the correct concluding summary will be presented for scoring.

As there are several ways to approach this discussion, the writer should make sure to learn about how to respond using either:

1. 2 public opinion discussion paragraphs + 1 writer's opinion paragraph
2. Public opinion + writer's opinion paragraph discussion presentations

These are the 2 most acceptable discussion formats for this writing prompt. Remember to use a mix of 3rd person group and first person singular pronouns in the paragraphs to meet the GRA requirements.