Children watch a lot of TV and play video games - writing task 2(IELTS)

The 'screen staring' effect on kids

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games.However, some people think that these activities are not good for the child's mental health.To what extent you agree or disagree?(please do score it)

Nobody can deny that in the recent years, children spend much of their time by watching television or playing video games. This issue has raised a great concern for some people who believe that these activities present several downsides on the children's psychology. However, I am convinced that spending a normal timespan can be proved beneficial for many reasons.

Firstly, children who constantly use electronic devices become techno-liberate at an early age in this increased technological-oriented society. Furthermore, there are video games and television programs which are designed to develop various skills of children such as critical and logical thinking, or even learning a new language. Spending time to on these activities can be both entertaining and educational and thus, young people do not perceive them as work, but they end up learning and having fun at the same time. For instance, Greek TV program "Rainbow" aims to educate children, from an early age, on how to interact with their peers and how to develop their social skills.

On the other side, few would dispute that these activities can be detrimental to the child's psychological health. To be more specific there are some online games or TV programs which include sexually explicit material or violent scenes. Children are the most vulnerable audience and they are surely affected from what they see. Moreover, chat rooms in video games have become the new playground for sexual predators who most of times try to manipulate unsuspecting children.

To sum up, this issue is far from black and white. Even though some negative effects are crucial, and we need to pay attention, I strongly believe that under normal circumstances this these kind of activities can have both educational and entertaining purpose.

The TA score for this essay will be 1. Your answer was completely unrelated to the task. You did not compare your response in the restatement to the original discussion question, which provided the content for your 2 reasoning paragraphs:

Question: To what extent you agree or disagree?
Response: I am convinced that spending a normal timespan can be proved beneficial for many reasons.
Concluding Response: I strongly believe that under normal circumstances this these kind of activities can have both educational and entertaining purpose.

Did you notice how you did not respond to the actual question being posed in the essay? Exactly. You were supposed to explain why you support only one side of the discussion. Your opinion should have been clear. This was not a C/C essay. The Dis/agree essays are always written as single opinion essays. You clearly did not understand the question so you responded in a manner that was inappropriate in format. Hence, the essay cannot progress with further review, with a TA score of 1, there is no way you will achieve a 5 passing score based on the remaining scoring considerations.

The correct response is related to:

... I strongly support this statement for 2 reasons.

Children cannot differentiate between real life and make believe. They believe television program and video games are reality...

Additionally, children who watch television have short attention spans, which make it difficult for them to focus during formal academic classes. They do not have the ability to concentrate....

These are the reasons why I fully believe that the mental health of children...

The C&C score is based on the way that you use clear explanations in your paragraphs and how you relate one paragraph to the next. They should both support a singular point of view to a strong extent. You cannot have a measured response essay if you do not pick one side to support in the discussion. It is the "pick a side to support" in the essay that becomes the basis of the overall score of your essay. Just one side. Discuss, support, and defend. That is all you have to do.

This essay is scored on your ability to defend your single point of view using valid discussion points. Unless you are asked to discuss both points of view, never use the C/C or A/D discussion format.