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IELTS - 'choosing own career by young people'

zhangyebiaoba 3 / 3  
Jun 19, 2012   #1
Some say young people should choose the career they want to follow on their own. Others on the contrary say that the choice should be made by teachers and parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your statements and include any relevant examples from your experience.

More and more people pay attention to career direction. Some people point out that career should be chose whatever they want, totally making their own mind.I am agreed with the front one.

They argued that no one have the right to decide the career for the other people, no matter how close they are, because they don't know better than yourself. Career is very important; it is the direction of your life. Like someone says: choose the job and the person you actually like, so you can happy the 8 hours at work and very happy the rest hours. Image this, if you choose the wrong job, you would feel suck 8 hours a day in the whole life.

Bill Gates, one of the wealthiest man in the world is the vividly example of choosing the career by himself. He has to fight his parent for drop off Harvard university in junior year, because he is crazy about computer, while majoring law. But we know what happen next, he achieved something more expected.

However, some people don't think this way, they believed it is better to leave the choice to the people have experiences. The people, who still choose their career, is green, so listen to the people who know you better and also got in the industry, might be able to give the best advice.

To sum up, I am full convinced the idea of choosing your own career, it might more difficult do by your own, but when the time you succeed, you would get the happy forever.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 19, 2012   #2
career should be chose

Grammatically this is wrong. It is either;
career shoud be chosen (passive voice)
should choose career (active voice)

Some people point out that career should be chose whatever they want, totally making their own mind

Some people point out that one should chose his career as per his wishes.

.I am agreed with the front one.

- this is very confusing. What do you mean by "front one" ? I guess you tried to mean "former argument". However, it is better you state you clearly state your opinon.

Try this;

I agree with the argument that young people should be given freedom to choose their career on their own.
kissingyou0912 8 / 29  
Jun 23, 2012   #3
Like (someone says) --> I think it is As, not like
Vividly --> vivid
believed --> believe
the people have --> the people who have
Just my opinions. :)

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