IELTS Essay: Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned

Task: Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportations like buses, taxis and metros are advised.

To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

My answer:

There is news saying that more and more cities are adopting a vehicle-free policy, which means during a specific day, vehicles are banned entering the center of the city. Expectedly, some people disagree with this policy. However, I feel the advantages of it would be way too much than the disadvantages.

First of all, in terms of personal expenses, there is no doubt that public transportation is cheaper than driving private cars. By public transportation, people could save more money for their own. For example, except for the oil expenses, insurance fee, parking fee, as well as some potential fees would cost the owner a lot, more than taking public transportation.

Secondly, cities, especially big cities, are facing increasing traffic congestion problems. A lot of cars, trucks or motorcycles on the street may cause a long waiting line for the people who are in those vehicles. If a person lives in the north of the city, sometimes it may take him or her almost one hour to arrive at the office by car. While, if there is one day that only public transportation such as buses or taxis are allowed in the city center, he or she could only spend 15 minutes to the office.

Last but not least, there are many strong researches showing that massive vehicles contribute a large portion of air pollution, which harms a lot to our planet. Setting some vehicle-free days could, on the one hand, decrease the pollution from vehicles; on the other hand, encourage more people to take public transportations at the most, unless necessary situation, in the long run. If people are more aware of how bad the current pollution issues are, each person's one tiny step toward protecting our environment would become a huge progress of human beings, to make our earth, the only homeland, a better place to live.

Considering the many advantages from personal to world aspects, I strongly believe in that vehicle should be restricted in the center of a city for some specific days.

(336 words)

Writing task 2 requires 250 words but yours has more than enough. You should reduce to ~290 words.
That'all. And I think your essay is really good.

Your second paragraph is under developed in terms of explanation. After you present an example, you should work on creating a supporting explanation that will allow you to tie together the first part of the paragraph with the example in a manner that is understandable to the reader. It has to create a convincing presentation going into the next paragraph. As of now, the second paragraph needs just an additional 2 sentences to accomplish that.

This is a 2 reasoning paragraph essay so your third reason is superfluous. The discussion format you were provided required only 2 reasons. Only the comparative discussion with a personal opinion requires a third paragraph presentation.

Your concluding paragraph should have at least 40 words in it. 3 sentences would be more than sufficient to properly recap and conclude the information from the essay. Yes, you wrote more than the required and maximum word count, but you did not use the words in the correct format so it hindered, rather than helped your presentation.