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Citizens obtain numerous positive outcomes viewing ordinary people reports, not celebrities 'news'

Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Aug 21, 2016   #1
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The power of media to capture the attention of human mind is undeniable. While there has been a lot of coverage about famous artist or athletes in the media, I personally believe that citizens obtain numerous positive outcomes viewing ordinary people reports.

It is absolutely imperative that media should cover the lifestyles of extraordinary people. As their controversial issue becomes interesting for public, this kind of entertainment can afford the popularity of media. Also, it ensures that media's operation stay afloat through an increase in advertisement spot. For instance, there is a large number of celebrities gossip on television over a-24 hour per day. Producers compete to expose the most debatable figures in order to attract attention of viewers. Even, they are not afraid to perpetrate hoax. As a result, spectators do not receive accurate information as their primary needs. In brief, presenting news of popular person is solely due to financial matters.

In contrast, publication of ordinary people offers a numerous advantage for audience. Firstly, they can obtain virtual reality in the world as their desire for, such as citizen journalism. This latest form in reporting news seems to be successful in response to some problems in the society. When the media reports usual person, the program also become divinely inspired. For instance, the story of a teacher who has dedicated his self to educate pupils in solitary region with less salary is really admired. In addition, a series of the poor or disaster victims who struggle to live can develop social bond between communities.

In conclusion, it is evident that the exposure of public figures benefits for media financially and ignore the audience's right to acquire precise information. Therefore, the media should elaborate interesting, factual news to attract attention of people.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 22, 2016   #2
Hi Nurul,

I can see that you have gathered a very comprehensive feedback from one of EssayForum contributors. I hope you can follow through the above-mentioned feedback. However, apart from Akbar's feedback, I would like to focus on giving you some tips about what you should do in Agree or Disagree essay.

First of all, you need to mention clearly your POSITION. This is related to IELTS writing task 2 band descriptors. It is clearly stated that if you want to reach band 6 or above you need to "present a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive (band 6) or present a clear position throughout the response (band 7)" . How? You can do that by stating your position CLEARLY in the introduction paragraph. You might say "It is agreed/disagreed that..., I firmly/strongly agree/disagree with..., or many more". There are actually many possible options to state your position. You can explore them by reading some sample answers of IELTS task 2 related to Agree or Disagree. However, if you failed to present a relevant position, you need to be aware about these "expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn (band 5)" or worse "presents a position but this is unclear (band 4)".

As you can see Nurul, avoiding a low band score parameter and focusing on a high band score parameter would be helpful towards the development of your essay.

I hope this helps :)

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