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Many city dwellers these days don't get enough physical exercise. Write causes and solutions

Luktcong 1 / -  
Jun 9, 2024   #1
In the modern world, many city dwellers do not engage in physical exertion. This essay will first outline the underlying causes of this phenomenon, before proposing some viable solutions to improve the situation.

This problem can be attributed to two primary factors. In pursuit of achieving the desired wealth and social status, employees may need to exert additional effort, leading to a significant amount of time spent in the workplace. It is also noteworthy that children are also affected as well, having to attend cram classes in order to obtain a sterling academic transcript. These two cases can result in people downplaying the importance of doing regular exercise regularly. Combined with this is the lack of public sports facilities as well as the deterioration of available sports centers, especially in developing countries in which the authorities pay scant attention to maintaining and constructing public facilities.

There are several possible solutions to address the lack of physical exercise in cities. First, the government should allocate more funding to mounting more campaigns to educate people about the negative consequences of a sedentary lifestyle; therefore people would create a more flexible daily schedule to balance their work and physical exercise. In tandem with this measure, local authorities should invest more in constructing public spaces designed for physical activity. By doing this, more people are incentivized to stay active.

In conclusion, the difficulties of obtaining sufficient physical exercise can be attributed to several rationales. To tackle these problems, city planners and residents should work together to create accessible public spaces for physical activities and raise awareness about the importance of maintaining an active lifestyle.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,974 4811  
Jun 12, 2024   #2
physical exertion

This does not have the same meaning as physical activities or physical exercise. You must improve your English vocabulary, specially in the synonym usage aspect.

This essay will first outline

Points will be deducted for the non-existence of your writer's opinion. You will not receive points for the writer's opinion section because you did not provide any cause and solution presentation as a part of the thesis statement of this paragraph. Without the thesis statement, there is no writer's opinion.

The causes were well developed in the presentation. Using a reference to adult and children exercise problems was a nice touch. However, the solutions presentation feels rushed and under developed. It would have been better for your score if you had a specific adult and children solution presented also. That way the cohesiveness of the discussion paragraphs would have been maintained and the C+C and GRA scores would have been increased.

Home / Writing Feedback / Many city dwellers these days don't get enough physical exercise. Write causes and solutions
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